The material presented
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Today I came home from a shopping trip to WalMart. He's drunk. Made the last promise in November '08 to "never drink again." Fool that I am, I always hold out hope that this time....well you know how it goes.
Am I angry? Yes. Does my heart hurt? Yes. Am I going to let it kill me? At one time the answer would have been yes. Now it is NO WAY! It is always my fault. Do I care what he thinks when he is drinking. No! He'll sleep it off. Maybe he will continue to drink for a few days...maybe not. It's up to him. It's his problem, not mine.
Love to all, Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
It doesn't make you a fool to have HOPE, it proves that you are human. I'll keep you in my prayers, the next few days will be only as hard as you let it. Get active and get moving...make sure you have the necessary supplies that you will need to stay strong. My supplies include: bubble bath, a pedicure, good magazines, my bible and sometimes a new plant to nuture. Looking around..I must have gone overboard on the plants!! And a bubble bath sounds perfect right about now.
I hope it was a good 4 months and I hope this episode is over soon and he tries again. We know there's not a darn thing you can do about it except carry on. Do something fun tonight, like putting his hand in warm water..lol (Just kidding). I don't think I ever got to a place where I wasn't dissapointed at the broken promises. I would assume that's pretty normal. If there is hope there has to be a opposite. Chin up! This too shall pass. It always does.
love, Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
Sorry you are having a rough day, but I too know how ya feel...It has been a day from hell... But look at your strength.. :) Your doing great... Good attitude...Wish I could be so strong..I know I will get there, but I'm not there yet...
I will keep you in my prayers... Keep Coming Back... Friends in Recovery Jozie
How could you not be disappointed? I would be, too.... my ex-AH has been sober now since mid-December (got out of detox/rehab - 3rd time in '08 - in time to go to the homeless shelter for Christmas). He's in a halfway house, and just got a job last week. For the kids' sake, I hope this time it takes.
Your strength and grace amaze me. Keep coming back - we need you!
It's hard not to be disappointed by broken promises and I'm at the point where I really don't have any hope for the A, I expect him to do it again and if he doesn't well then it's a happy surprise. I guess it's easier to let go of that once you are no longer together, when we were together I always had hope. Like lmw said, I hope get gets it for the kids' sake but history tells me that it will probably happen again so I guess that's where the difference lies between hopes and expectations.
Your story sounds all to familiar to me. Been there, done that. Good for you and your attitude. Stay strong! Now I just have to follow my own advise. (((hugs)))
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