Hi everyone. I wanted to introduce  myself. I'm 38, been married 18-1/2 years, 2 teenagers. My husbands drinking has been an issue for most of our marriage, but last May I finally sat down and told him that he had to take me seriously, that I had to have some peace in my life, and that the only way I could see that happening was for him to stop drinking or me to leave. He made no promises, other than to cut back. Didn't work. We re-visited the conversation in October, he told me quite plainly that it was a subject we didn't see eye to eye on, and that he didn't want to stop drinking. He drinks mainly at home, but does go out with friends to bars, parties, etc on occasion. He drinks every night, is drunk at least 4 out of 7. I'm just so tired of dealing with him in that state. When he's sober, things are pretty much okay. But with all the drinking, I just feel very alone. All the time. You can't have a converstaion with someone when they're durnk. I'm a very committed Christian, have a great church and close Christian friends. I've been praying for this for 15 years. Two weeks ago, I was at my worst point and I was literally on my bathroom floor crying and praying to God show me the path I need to take. The next morning, we talked and it got pretty serious - and he out of the blue said he was going to quit drinking. That he was serious this time. He said he would "poor the liqour" down the drain. That he would get help if he needed it. I was scared, but I did have hope that this time would be different. Well, he didn't poor the liqour out. We didn't talk about it. He just stopped. I spoke to a therapist and she recommended "Co-dependent no more". I've een working on "detachment." Over the past weekened, he mentioned wanting to drink twice. Both times, I just said "I'm sorry that you want to, but I'm glad you're not." I didn't make a big deal out of it. Well, yesterday evneing he was working out in his shop and comes in for something and says to me, "I'm going to go back out here and work a while longer - and drink a few beers." I just froze. Totally. Did  not say ok, didn't throw a fit, didn't cry, didn't beg, just said absolutely nothing. Our daughter walked in the room adn asked me a question and I just started talking to her, and he went outside. I don't know how much he drank, but he was drunk by8:00, back inside, sitting on the couch, not making much sense, trying to argue about the TV show I was watching. I Just watched my show and when I was ready for bed, got up and said goodnight and went to bed. Now, I'm up working and he's still sleeping. I have not one clue what to say when he gets up, or if I'm supposed to say anything at all. I keep repeating to myself "I did not cause it. I cannot control it. I cannot cure it."

Thanks for reading and please say a prayer for me today.