The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
It used to be that anytime I felt deep despair it had to do with one of the alcoholics in my life. We I no longer live with active alcoholism and in fact have lived in a house of recovery for 3 years.
In the last 6 months a I have watched 2 of my children make self destructive decisions with little regard of the ramifications to both themselves and the rest of their family. Some days I am able to handle things with the help of HP but those days are getting fewer & arther in between. I am losing hope and faith leading me further into despair. I know my HP wont give me more than I can handle etc. but the inner struggle over letting go and helping is wearing me down. I guess I am more fortunate than others in that it is not alcohol or drug related but it doesnt change the fact that as a mother it tears my heart out seeing what they are doing. We want so much for our children and it is so painful to watch them make their mistakes but even worse when those mistakes affect other innocent people.
I will keep praying for them and trying to keep my hands off for it really is all I can do. Karen
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Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care. Love you all!
Karen
This is so true, there are other terrible decisions, a "train wreck waiting to happen" as my grandmother used to say.
Actions that will have ramifications for them and for you that could follow them for the rest of their lives, I tried so hard to pull mine off the tracks before the train hit them, but they refused to move.
yes, the emotional and mental affect I have seen on my teens and young adult kids from being around alcoholism is mind boggling. It is so difficult to identify the impact when there is no physical abuse plus some hide it so diligently with perfectionism of success - almost an oxymoron of success but in pain and distorted thinking.
when you google for impact of alcoholism on kids, I found eating disorders, school dysfunctions and millions of things related to stress that is not so obvious like all the addictions out there. It is a baffling and isidious disease that invades all those around in some unhealthy way. It's almost like how a virus keeps changing into a new form of the same disease so the vaccination is no longer effective to fight it.
I have been and will continue to pray for all the young people who suffer sometimes wordlessly and unknowingly from alcoholism.
hugs, ddub
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"Choices are the hinges of destiny." Pythagoras You can't change the past, but you can change the future.
I just read Melody Beatties The New Codependent and she says she doesn't agree with the slogan God doesn't give us more than we can handle. Some people have to endure a tremendous amount.
I can't imagine watching your children make self destructive decisions. I know I have friends who have step children who really struggle with it.
Some days are indeed a very very hard struggle. I hope you will continue to reach out and know you are cared for very much here. You can lean on us.
