The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I just went back and read all of the topics I have started since I found this board in 2006. It is very interesting to see the progression in myself from a person willing to do anything to help the A in my life to someone willing to do anything to help myself, because I am the only person I can actually affect!
My AH moved out on 12/26 at my request. Since moving he has achieved 90+ days of sobriety, has a full time job, and has lost 40 lbs. He calls in a miracle. I recognize it as the removal of his enabler (me). I am very proud of him and I wish him all the luck in the world, but I will never take the risk of reconciling.
I am happier than I have been in many years, and thankfully, so is my daughter. She loves to visit her Dad, but the peace and quiet that reigns this house is an even bigger bonus.
Wow the presence of evidence that the program works when you work it...and also the presence of where HP works. I learned to never say never in Al-Anon and the rest of the story was watching the wonder of my HP's hands in my life. Staying openminded as it is suggested in the closing of our face to face meetings is leads to the very first promises I ever hear in the program. "If you keep and open mind, you will find help." Willing and Openminded gives us the vision to see miracles in and all around us. Thanks for the memories!! (((((hugs)))))
I don't think your ex's sobriety has much to do with you kicking him out. Some people get sober, some don't. There are certain bottoms that prompt some of them to do it. Some people's bottom is death. I no longer accept much responsibility for other people's behavior. Certainly I've played my part in dysfucntional relationships but it was never "all" me.
Babysteps, its so great that you experience serenity in your life and that there is peace in your home! YAY 4 U and your family! That is all we could ever hope for!!! Hugs, J.
