The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Went to a new F2F meeting last night, and believe genuinely that that is where I was supposed to be. Meetings was wonderful and so nice to meet some new faces and get myself "recharged" for the week ahead. Have spoken off and on to EXABF since our date Friday and have to say I am in a place with all of that that I didn't think I could be. I love him very much, but I will not allow anyone ever again to decide things for me in anyway, including him. Nor will I allow myself to get so in love and wrapped up with anyone again, including him, that I loose me and crumble when it ends. We have kept contact since the date but there are no plans right now of another date, or get together, and since I won't let my son be involved, our dating time will be very limited, so I'm not certain how/if that will work. Not really thinking about it today. If he wants me in his life he will find a way to put me there, it's all about actions not words:) I am really holding onto the slogan "Easy does it" and continuing with my plans for Easter and the Summer without him. He has said or written a few things that I normally would have obsessed over and allowed them to upset me but thanks to this program I have learned that it's none of my business what he wants/needs and continue to focus on me and work my program. We still haven't really "talked" about anything and until we do I can't see much progress being made but I will not pursue that again either. However I know I can't just pretend like none of it happened and unless we discuss things that seems to me like pretending it never happened. Things don't go away when they are ignored. Today, words mean very little to me, coming from him, I hate to say that, and it breaks my heart to say it but they do. I have to rebuild a lot of trust with this man and that takes time for me. This time around it will be actions that I base things on. I feel this is because he has been so all over the place the past few months with his words and I have tried to hold on to him all the while feeling like a caboose ready to fly off the track. I can't and won't live like that anymore, it is more than I am capable of and more than I want in my life anymore. So today, I am keeping it simple and living in the now-one day at a time......and remembering over and over again-Easy does it and trusting in HP's will for me. thanks for letting me share Shelly
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Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!
Shelly, I am so happy for you. I wish some of your strength. I have yet to attend a F2F meeting and I like what you said that it has recharged you for the week. I really, really need to get to a meeting to help in my recovery. Good for you!!!
How wonderful to see the program working for you. Don't isolate, find a way to get out and enjoy yourself. I know as a former victim my life was very lonely and isolated. The more I go out and find ways to have fun the less I am focused on being single and not having someone.
