The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Yesterday I told AD she could not come here. This was her last option and it did not work out as she had hoped it would. So, I guess she see rock bottom from where she was at.
A gentleman friend of her family is making phone calls and her blank, blank, blank, husband is finally willing to let go of some of his precious money for this hospital.
I look back on my horrible day and the heart breaking decision I made to not let her come here and I know that God intervened for me. Had I gone to rescue her, I would have been intefereing with God's plan. I would have been getting in His way.
I hope I am not celebrating false hope, but for the moment I will celebrate and be most thankful to God and all of you on this wonderful message board that got me through the past 2 horrible days.
Love you all
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Clara
------------------------------------ What don't kill you, makes you stronger!!!
While I am pleased to see your daughter realizing that her options are limiting themselves, please give pause to the reality that, ultimately, I do not know what is a person's bottom. I cannot determine what will get a person sober or not. It may also be worthwhile to give pause to the reality that simply because someone goes to the hospital is not indicative of their desire to get sober. Many times alchilcs go to the hospital because they want to dry out, then go back out. There are many different stories to the same ending: that the alcholic does not use this as an opportunity to stay sober or get there. Please use this an opportunity to work your program.
I am so happy for you.. I don't belive in false hope...Hope is wonderful even if it only last for the moment... Glad you stepped away and gave your AD a chance to see what SHE thinks is best for her... Keep Coming Back and Letting Go & Letting God...
That is really good news Clara, and like the others, try to keep your perspectives/expectations in check... For me, I focussed way too much on getting my AW into treatment, and tied that to a whole bunch of expectations of her getting sober and healthy.... That ultimately didn't happen until SHE decided to get sober....
On a separate note - you have made several tongue-in-cheek reference's to your daughter's husband, and insinuated that he has turned his back on her, etc..... I am certainly not trying to "knight him", as you would know far more than me re: his character, etc., but please remember that this (speaking from experience) has not been easy for him either - it is not at all easy to be married to an alcoholic/addict.
Take care T
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
Canadianguy, My thoughts go back and forth about my son in law. He does not want a recovered alcholic wife because he too is an alcholic and is in total denial.
He is a pilot(not to worry; he is a corporate pilot). Says he does not have the money for rehab. Oh, I forgot to mention, they live on an 80 acre ranch in Texas with 3 very productive gas wells that bring in from $3,000 to $7,000 monthly, depending on what gas prices are at that time. I am talking about natural gas wells here.
I do realize what he has gone through with my daughter. I got a glimpse of that when she was here several weeks ago. However, this is his wife and by law he is responsible for her.
Please do not think Canadianguy, that I am jumping down your throat. No one told my daughter to pick up the bottle. Even when she saw him drunk, she did not have to join in the party. He is a functioning drunk, where as my daughter is not. If I fell down and broke my leg, I would hope and pray my husband would be responsible and take me to the hospital because part of me was broken. Well, there is a big part of my daughter broken.
All that said, I do appreciate your post. Post you guys put out here, make look at both sides of the issue. And I do know the chances of this rehab "taking" are slim to none. But when you are in a long dark tunnel, you are so happy to see a pin hole of light.
Thanks for all your words of encouragement. I appreciate hearing from each and everyone.
__________________
Clara
------------------------------------ What don't kill you, makes you stronger!!!
Congratulations on standing your ground! I am very proud of you. I know how hard that can be. Whenever someone goes into rehab there is always hope. Never, never give up the hope - even when they relapse. Once the seed has been planted you never know. I hope her husband will agree to help her. Remember he is in the throws of his own disease and can't see it. It doesn't let him - even for a functioning alcoholic. I wish your daughter all the success in the world. Continue to work your program. It will see you through. Never give up hope. There is always hope. Somewhere the sun comes up. Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Love and blessings to you and your family.