The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Met my Ab in a local park I was feeling so strong knew he was not going to change my mind he told he he loved me didnt want to loose me. told me it was mad that I was running from him just as he is finally ready to look at himself. to cut a long story short he said he wants to go to aa but has needed time to accept his problems. He has asked me to give him a lift to an AA meeting on Tuesday.
I dont trust him think this is all for my benefit well thats his business if so he is only fooling himself.
I have said we can see each other once a week. I am very confused trying to stay focused concentrate on today and my recovery. He rang before and asked me to ring tomorrow I said no I will be really busy.
I am aware I need to explore my needs and set some boudaries here. Feeling very confused I want to concentrate on me mind my own busines. HP keeps testing me just when I think I know what I am doing.
Well I am powerless over him I am concentrating on me. I am not doing same insane stuff. If he drinks he drinks up to him if he goes to aa up to him. I will ask HP for guidance for his will for me.
I am going to give him a lift to the meeting as for the rest confused but just going to try and make good choices for me
I just dont trust this disease I have to protect myself try and look after me without totally detaching from him its hard
-- Edited by Tracy on Sunday 22nd of March 2009 06:46:54 PM
I just dont trust this disease I have to protect myself try and look after me without totally detaching from him its hard
-- Edited by Tracy on Sunday 22nd of March 2009 06:46:54 PM
Hi Tracy,
Thanks for sharing. The wisdom you expressed above really sums up what the tools of alanon can do for us.
I found I could not do it alone. Meetings a sponser, daily readings, gratitude lists enabled me to truly keep the focus on myself while staying detached.
Thanks again for your ESH
-- Edited by hotrod on Sunday 22nd of March 2009 10:04:46 PM
Aloha Tracy...I also am a member of the other program. What we tell newbies and relapsers in that program is be responsible for your own recovery and the consequences of how your work or not work it.
The best chance HE can give HIMSELF for recovery is to make a phone call to AA and ask A RECOVERING ALCOHOLIC to give HIM a ride to the meeting. He will not be at a loss for rides; believe me.
Some time or another your own recovery will rely on the statement "No" not said in anger, resentment, fear or confusion; but said in love...for yourself and for him.
One of my recovery lessons was learning that I had to trust the alcoholic I was married to for something and I learned that if she did nothing to bring about her own change I could trust her to continue drinking and loosing her life. I let go of all control.
You've been around for a while and know about program. "Let go and Let God" is more than just a slogan...It is a real suggestion. If you do it you get one consequence. If you don't do it you get another.
