The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I haven't posted here but once, I've been so busy with the kids and finally going to the gym (doing something for myself). After almost 7 years with my A boyfriend I feel like I'm in this relationship by myself most of the time. Part of it is because he works 2nd shift and 6-7 days a week, but when he is home (if that's what you want to call it) he is out in his shed with what ever he happens to be drinking that day talking on his cell phone to his old marine friend or who ever happens to be home. I feel very stuck right now, I don't work I take care of our 11 month old, 4 year old and my 14 year old child care is too much. He pays most of the bills. The more unhappy I seem to be the more time he spends out in the shed not being a part of this family. Don't get me wrong he does things with us when we plan them and he's a great father. It just feels like there is no relationship here between us right now and there is more to the story but I just can't get into it right now I just needed to get this off my chest, I hate this damn disease! Holly
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You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice.
Holley, I am so very sorry for what you are going through. Alcholism is a very lonely disease for sure. You feel so alone and isolated.
I have a daughter (37 years old) with the disease and it is tearing the family up constantly.
If you are not attending an Al-Anon meeting, I suggest you should find one. Get a sponsor. I called mine twice today. I have cried a river of tears today because I told my daughter she cannot, under no circumstances come to my house. She is now out of options.
I have been a member of this board for about a week and it has helped me so much. Please come back; you are not alone.
Clara
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Clara
------------------------------------ What don't kill you, makes you stronger!!!
We all have lots to be aggrivated with that is what brought us all here...:) But you are at the right place...Keeping the focus on you will so help you get thru your tough days... And make you LESS moody :)... I am sure your hands are full with the younger kids and a teenager... Mine is slowly getting to the teen years and I have been prayin for the strength to deal with it...:) I know how I was as teen, so I try to remember that when correcting him:)...
Glad you found us, and I hope that you KEEP COMING BACK... One day at a Time:)
The Topic of yur posting caught my eye and I thoguht that that word "Alone" really summed up my feelings when married to an active drinker.
The more I thought about how alone I felt I realized that the feeling was very real for both of us.
I had unknowingly walled myself off from him with anger, resentment, self pity and fear. He had disappeared into his liquid escape.
Alanon to the rescue. Working the steps, getting a sponser, going to meetings, using the tools and living one day at a time slowly lifted my negative, self defeating attitudes.My walls fell and I was able to enjoy life again. I was enpowered to make choices that I knew were right for me and I grew.
I am glad you are going to the gym. That is huge. Please keep coming here and sharing and give the online meetings here a try.
