After a very low day on Friday, all day in bed nearly, feeling desparately low...which is when I last posted, Saturday I started my new very small part time job at a lovely womenswear designer shop in town working with my friend. Had a good day, came home tired, ate (thats something thats coming back after 6 weeks) and then went to bed and slept well. Today, ive not cried, have done a few jobs in the garden, popped out for some shopping without getting morbid about buying different things to those Im used to buying for "us". Ive arranged for my friend to drop in for coffee in the morning and am giving her a couple of bits of furniture which I hate because they are reminders and tonight another friend is popping in for a glass of wine, which I can enjoy without worrying about it, I can have wine in the house now and enjoy it in a pleasant way, no strings, consequences attached. Anyway, i thought I would just message that its true, not every day is awful, they come and go rather a lot at the moment, but two in a row is very welcome......you just have to let it happen, I allowed myself my grief on Friday and somehow it made me a bit better.....Its my AH's birthday on Tuesday, I will make myself busy that day too....I keep changing things around in the house to make it more mine, Ive bought daffodils today and they are cheering the place up, i cant afford such indulgences but they are a necessity to me... I do have to keep talking about what has happened, its been shocking and I know Im suffering from a loss and grieving, but I do sometimes already catch myself thinking of other things or talking of other things..I can see that it will get better, you just have to make it happen and trying to put negative thoughts out of my mind is very important to me..if I catch myself, I go back and read Getting them sober to remind me its not about ME, he just made it about me to get away..if it was me, he wouldnt have left his business, his friends, his town...its the great escape which wont work.  Thanks everyone.. this board has helped me recognise so much and deal with it too...