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Dear All, Son has started smoking and drinking aged 15, being very difficult and it is turning into an intolerable situation, am barely getting by with it, as he is quite abusive, send on your prayers please, I need to get things sorted,
I was so sorry to hear the problems you are having. Do you live alone with your son? Are you in physical danger?
I am very new to this message board and I am going to give you some advise that may be "politically incorrect". But if you are in danger, call the police. You should not and should not have to put your life in danger.
My thoughts and prayers are with you. Let us hear what is happening. Huggs to you!!!!!
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Clara
------------------------------------ What don't kill you, makes you stronger!!!
I am so sorry that you are having this problem with your son. I will keep your family in my prayers.
Clara is correct. He is 15 years old.,therefore not an adult. Calling the Police or getting school officials involved could be a the beginning of a solution for your son.
I am sorry you are having such a tough time now with your son... i hope that you have the strength to find him the help that he needs and that you need... If you have a F2F you can go to, that would probably be a big help to you, and you must take care of you in order to have the strength your son is going to need you to have now...
Keep coming back, keep sharing, and Keep doing the best you can... The more help you find for him now, maybe the less you will have to find for him later... No time like the present... One Day at A Time...
You have been added to my prayer list.... Friends in Recovery... Jozie
I reached out to every resource available when all the red flags were going up when my youngest was 15 and to no avail.
It wasn't until she ran away with a 24 year old that Social Services finally stepped in and made her a ward of the state.
She ended up in two juvenile lockdown facilities for 4 months total, and a foster home for a year. Then a year's supervision by the state after being released to me. It was the best thing that could have happened, though neither of us thought so at the time.
She found out home wasn't nearly so bad after all. She was subject to random UA's by the state that year, had to sign a behavioral contract before she ever came back home, and had to appear in front of the judge every three months. Oh, and she also had to hold down a part-time job after school too.
I took parenting classes during the time she was in foster care that were geared towards teens and I learned a lot from them.
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"If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience." - Woodrow Wilson
MR, that is such a tough age. I know it was tough for me when I went through it. I smoked and drank and did drugs at that time and hung with the wrong crowd. You and your son are in my best thoughts and prayers, I know that HP will guide both of you well. I know if must be scary for you but place all your worries and concerns at the feet of HP. I turned out just fine, in fact, I am pretty A-OK. He has his journey and you have yours. Both are mysterious! hugs and love, J.
I hope you will lean on all the people you can to get through this. You have been through so much in the past year. I know I have had years like that when it is how much more. I know also it won't always be that way. Rebellion is part of being a teenager. Smoking and drinking look cool. They aren't of course.
You can set limits, you know you can. You dont' have to feel guilty because he had a dysfunctional upbringing. Remember the three C's.
When we encounter these kinds of difficulties it is normal to feel overwhelmed. Look at all you have already dealt with so successfully you can do this too. You may not feel like it but I have tremendous confidence in you.
Thanks for all the posts, appreciate them, am not in physical danger but its emotionally draining, am taking each day as it comes and yes remember my 3cs,
