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Morning everyone! My Abf competed treatment, is home and what a roller coaster it has been. Up and down his moods change constantly and he is so frustrated trying to put his life back together from damage caused during relapses. I am trying to work my program, seperate what is his vs what is mine and stay out of his program. I didnt think early sobriety was this hard...thought it would be better. My ABF told me he is very fearful of losing me, trying to live a sober life and has alot of guilt over the past. Is this why he is feeling i dont love him now? Or is it that i am sticking to my boundaries of
getting my sleep Not arguing things anymore allowing him space to calm down Not butting my nose into his program
Could this be why he feels i dont care? That i have given up? Boundaries are a blessing for me as i am not so emotional, or out of control. However how do i enforce my boundaries without making him feel that i dont care anymore?
Thanks in advance
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What progress, you ask, have I made? I have begun to be a friend to myself. Hecato, Greek philosopher
All of the things you mentioned are his fears and his insecurity , all u can do is support his effots at sobriety and let go . He is what I lovingly call Stark Raving Sober , sobriety is not easy for either or you . keep the focus on yourself and your needs and remember its not your job to keep him sober , this is his trip . As we detach I have been told by more than one recovering A it feels like we are throwing them out , again his problem. He has rooms full of AA members who will take care of him . good luck Louise
He is indeed fighting his inner demons and most A's do have many regrets that they sometimes can't over come... They are for him to work out... You can detach with love and still love one another... When the two of you do get to do something together, go out to eat, take in a movie, hang out on the couch, don't make it about the programs or alcohol make it about what you are looking forward to, or resent events and just keep it simple until he feels more grounded... no one said sober was great... it to is a process... and all you need is Progress not Profection... If it is meant to be it will be...
Keep your focus on you and keep up those boundry's... Your doing good.. He needs to work his program, as you need to stay on top of yours... For you are the only one that You control.. His issues are for him to work out..
Remember... ONE Day at a Time... :)
good luck to ya... Take what you like and leave the rest Friends in Recovery Jozie
Your ok , You are strong, and you cannot help him if you don't help yourself. I tell myself these things when I feel my weakest. find that saying that helps with your inner strength let him find his. A strong you shows you do care. wendy
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I haven't failed, I've found 10,000 ways that don't work." --Ben Franklin
A wise women once said: " No one can help everybody, but everybody can help somebody
