The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have been married 19 years in July and my husbands awakening moment happened 12-31-04 when he got pulled over for a DWI. He quit drinking and did very well for several years. We bought a new home in May 2008 and our neighbors are alcoholics and drink all the time. My husband started going over there and of course drank a few beers. He didnt see anything wrong with it but i sure do. I told him he was playing with fire. Since we have lived here his drinking has increased. Not to the extent it was in 2004 but it could lead to that.
Right now he is next door with the alcoholics sitting by a fire drinking. He came in and asked if I wanted to go out and sit. I said no. I dont want to be around a bunch of drunks. He said I wasnt being socialable. My response was well why does alcohol have to be in the picture to have a good time? Cant you just enjoy life and other people with out being intoxicated.
I guess I have never been an alcoholic so I dont understand. I do know if I nag him about it he will probably drink more. That is why I am on this website. Does anyone feel this way?
I'm sorry your husband is getting enmeshed in it again. very sad. It's amazing how their alcoholic mind (opposed to the sober mind) takes over and forgets what made them stop in the first place, replacing reason with excuses.
__________________
If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
Welcome and please keep coming back. Posting and reading the ESH of other members is very enlightening.
Yes you are dealing with a very powerful, baffaling and cunning disease. Alanon is for membes who are effected by the use of alcohol by others. We focus on outselves. usuing constructive tools to find our peace,
When you are ready you might like to check out local face to face meetings in your community, The Hotline # can be found in your local white page telephone directory. You are not alone and you cn find help
That is a very old question which comes closer to a rational response when you change "people" to alcoholics. Alcoholism is a disease of compulsion and it appears that your alcoholic has given into the compulsion to drink. He has forgotten why he found it necessary to stop for awhile and now is participating in one of the basics of why "people" drink... socialization. Drinking greases the wheels and makes being around other drinkers okay. Problem drinkers need support and most of the temporary support comes from having other drinkers around. Where does this leave you? On the computer looking for support yourself and you have found MIP...YAY!! now you know that you are not alone and that there are others who have gone thru what you are going thru and asked the same questions, thought the same thoughts and then reached out for help also.
Many of the members here also attend face to face Al-Anon Family Group meetings regularly and will make suggestions for you that have worked out for them. Getting as much literature about alcoholism at a face to face meeting and reading it all is one of the suggestions. Finding a home meeting and getting the phone numbers of other supportive members is another. Getting a Higher Power of your own understanding is another and apart of the 12 steps and traditions which are now part of our thinking, feeling, motivation (spirit) and behaviors. The suggestions all work and the first suggestion was finding the Face to Face meetings in your area and getting there. You can find the hotline number for your area under Al-Anon in the white pages of your local telephone book. Look it up and call the number. When I did it saved my life.
Keep coming back here. Your's in love and service...(((((hugs)))))
I keep the focus on me and I know that I do not need to drink to have a good time and be sociable. I occasionally have a glass of wine with a meal but no, I do not need to drink anything but water and tea and I like it that way. If anyone else needs to do whatever they need to do, I am OK with that, its their choice. I have made mine and I stick to that and it works well for me. keep coming back- hugs, J.
The ex A who I was with was always around other alcoholics and addicts, he preferred them. Whenever he was, whatever the situation he gravitated towards them. Then guess what he started to hate them. One minute they were the new "family" the next the bain of his life.
I stopped being around the alcohol but I was deeply invested in him that was one boundary I did keep I absolutely refused to drive with him drunk and I made no bones abou tnot appreciating him having drugs and alcohol at the house. Nothing but nothing I did, said, tried, screamed, wranged, prayed for and did stopped him drinking and using. Nothing did but things changed for me for the better eventually after really throwing myself into the program. I took years to unentangle myself. Al anon can help you. Please note that nothing but nothing you do can make him drink ,he does it al alone. We live by the three C's, we didn't cause it, we can't cure it and we can't control it. You can control your response and it take a lot of doing to work the steps and work the tools but it is so worth it. Dive in, the waters friendly learn all you can about al anon and get with the program. We are a lovely lovely bunch.
go to a meeting here or locally whichever you want, get the books especialy the al anon books. Get to know people post and post some more. Most of all know you are absolutely not alone in your struggle.
