The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I've been on and off with my A for over a decade. I've been in Alanon for 5 years and have learned a lot in that time. A couple of months ago I got diagnosed with a muscular disease and after coming out of the depression that caused I started making some plans to adapt to my health. One of those plans was to end the relationship with my A. I don't know what happened inside me but I just woke up a few weeks ago & decided it was something that had to happen if I was planning to make it through my future medical treatments. The diagnosis was my catalyst. It reminded me that life is very short and things can change very quickly. It also helped me to see that while my medical future may be uncertain and out of my control my participation in the relationship was in my control. I finally made a decision that was based on my needs and not his. I miss him being here but I feel no inclination towards any kind of reconcilation. I never thought I'd feel this way. It's been 3 weeks so far and I have ignored all contact. Didn't realize I had this strength inside me
I'm here because I know moments of weakness will come up. I am not going to fool myself! Evenings are when I feel the emotional pangs the most because those were the times we usually spent talking and cuddling. Reading and sharing here will help me stay on the path of being true to myself. I cannot go back to that hell
hey ExI, good post- its true how our priorities can shift and BANG, there it is- what really matters and what is really important? Sometimes the only way we will learn to take care of ourselves is to have to really take care of ourselves through coping and living with a disease or disorder. THAT will force us to take care of ourselves. We are sooo much stronger than we think we can be. We really are. Your best outcomes and improved health are in my prayers tonight. In some cases, making major life changes like the one you spoke of brings remission, cures or vast improvement! I have heard of it many many times. Hugs, J.
Hello Imp , doncha love those aha moments , u don't need to discuss it with anyone u just know your done . no regrets. or u know it's ok to stay in the relationship . I was separated for a few months yrs ago when I found out that Iwas going to be okay with out him , I missed him , loved him but know that I was ok . for me those six months were the biggest gift my husb ever gave us , he found out that home was where he wanted to be and was prepared to do what he had to do to be here and I knew I was ok with out him . goodluck take care of you and your needs . Louise
(((((Exhausted))))) Glad you found your way here and welcome to MIP. I'm sorry to hear about your health issues, but so very glad that you are taking care of you and putting the focus on you where it should be. Your strength is admirable.
keep coming back
shelly
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Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!
Thank you for the welcome. My Alanon group has been valuable. Without that program I'm sure I'd have gone insane by now! I get moments of weakness where I want to pick up the phone & call him. What's helping me to not take that step & call is 2 reminders I put right next to the phone. I'd taped our conversation about my diagnosis, that tape is keeping me focused on staying away from him and working on myself and my needs. The other reminder is a short list of painful things that I allowed myself to endure because I wanted his love so badly. If I ever have any doubt that I was a low priority for him or if I have times where I miss him a lot, all I have to do is play that tape and read that list and I'm back on track. It's almost like deprogramming myself. It is getting easier as each day passes & my personal strength increases
