The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My life has been moving very fast the last few yrs. I think it has been a long time since I stopped and came to the message board. However I feel it is something I am going to be needing to do a lot more in the near future.
As many may have already heard.....my Mom passed away Saturday night. She had been battling a skin infection over the past several months and was finally beginning to feel better this month. So this came as a complete shock to everyone. She kept telling us how much better she was doing, finally able to get a good nights rest etc. They still do not know exactly what happened.
I wish I had been able to see her earlier in the day but she slept most of the day and got up for a few minutes while I was taking a nap. We didn't have the best of a relationship over the years we have both said some very nasty things to eachother in anger....and for that I am so deeply sorry. At the time I couldn't understand a lot of the things she had been through in her own life. Sadly I am having to deal with them now myself. I know that any amount of second guessing and looking back on the bad stuff will only make this pain greater and I am trying to accept that we were both at a positive point in our relationship finally.
I have to laugh about it now, but I have been surrounded with the program since I was very young.....my mom had plaques of the serenity prayer up in the house since before I can remember. It was her favorite prayer, and has come to be mine as well.
I cannot thank everyone enough for all of the prayers, kind words love, and esh that has been expressed. It means the world to me and my family.
Auwe!! Jason...I empathize with you in the loss of your mother. I am inspired with your sense of gratitude you have found in her gift of the Serenity Prayer for you. I sense your acceptance of the situation and your awareness of parts of what made your Mom the person she was. Might it be in the past few program years that you both did the best you could with the time and tools you had? I am also glad to have had the "different" times with my Mom before she died. Besides being a child of God she was also a daughter and sister of an alcoholic raised within the blast zone of the disease. Like you I came to understand and then to accept unconditionally which is my definition of love from Al-Anon. She and I got to know each other beyond a mother/son relationship thank God for the program. My present wife and I even took the opportunity to help her thru her journey toward the end by sharing the philosophy and slogans of the program with her so she would overcome her fear and resistance of something she could not stop or change.
I remember my Mom and Step-Father being grateful for some of what they got from the program thru my participation in the program and their lives. They were the ones who reminded me that "It works...". Her eldest grandchild's name is Jason. I believe that you can still talk with her and that she can hear and respond. I believe that...might you also?
Your's in peace and serenity, love and service (((((hugs)))))
I was so sorry to hear about your mom. Please accept my sympathy for you and your family. Come here often and let us support you. You will find peace. Sending love and prayers.
Jason... Many (((((HUGS))))) to you and your family...
I lost my father in Nov. so it is still pretty fresh, He was an alcoholic, and that was indeed his step out of this world... I am so sorry that you lost your mother, and I know the pain I felt when My "Daddy-O" past... He and I were the same but differant so that caused us to 'butt' heads a little more then not, we had our share of fights, and misunderstandings, and down right fuids... We all have those with our parents... I do know that my father, knew that I loved him the best that I could as I am sure your mother knows the same...
I still carry my father with me every were I go, and I look to him now to help my HP guide me because in life he could never guide himself, so in heaven I pray that he can... I have been healing alot thanks to finding the MIP family, and I hope that you will keep coming back and sharing your story... It is those of us that make it thru that someone else can learn from...You included... Just take it "One Day at a Time" and do the best you can... That is all that is ask, I know that the MIP family, myself included all feel for your loss, and wish you nothing but recovery from your loss...
Keeping you in my prayers... Friends in Recovery... Jozie...
I'm so sorry for your loss. Give yourself time to grieve. We just buried my father in law last weekend. It's hard to let go but you are so in the right place in your life and looking up is going to help this portion of your journey. Know that I care.
Thank You for your heartfelt post. Grief is a process so please be gentle with yourself, come back and share your thoughts and feelings.
My son passed away in his sleep nearly 2 years ago and I wished for one more hour to share and remembered things that could have been different.
In time, HP has enlightened my heart. I see now how all things worked together for HIS purpose and my heart has been enriched by the many good memories we shared.
The Serenity Prayer was always a reminder that in order to have Serenity, Courage and Wisdom, I needed to ask God to grant it.
I am truly sorry for your loss. Yes, it is a blessing that you were able to get on good terms recently. That is the best some of us can ever hope for. I do believe that spirit does not die but changes form. I believe if u talk to her now, she can hear you and I also think that when we get out of our bodies (mind/egos) we naturally understand, love & forgive in spirit.
Take care of YOU.
love, light, prayers of peace, your friend, -k
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
(((((Jason)))))) I will be certain to keep you and your family in my prayers. You're mom sounds like she was a really smart woman-that Serenity prayer is the best:) Something WONDERFUL that the two of you will always share.
God bless and take care of you~ your friend in recovery shelly
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Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!
My mother died very suddenly she had a heart attack and went. That was a terrible shock. She was old (in her 80's) her health wasn't that great but there were no warnings. I had a hard time dealing with this.
I can understand your grief. I said very many mean things to my mother. I tried to have a relationship with her before she died, I found it hard going. In some ways I had waited for that moment all my life.
I am glad the program can help you through this. When my mother died I had no program and only an ex A who was hopeless at any notion of empathy.
You are so loved in this family Jason..Especially since some of us have known you since you were a sprout :)
I echo kitty's words and truly believe them to be so. I believe if u talk to her now, she can hear you and I also think that when we get out of our bodies (mind/egos) we naturally understand, love & forgive in spirit.
Much love, Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
My heart breaks for you. I know how hard it is to loose someone you love so quickly. Nothing I can say will take the pain away. It is what it is. This may sound trite, but give yourself the time you need, to feel all the things you do: good, bad and ugly. They are suppose to be there. No one has a perfect relationship with their parents - no matter how close they are. It's what makes us human. Try and be gentle with yourself. Don't rush the healing. Don't let anyone tell you how you're suppose to feel. Stay true to the amazing person you are. Know that we are here for you, and keeping you in our prayers. We love you. Much love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Piper's Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Thank you for sharing your loss with us Jason. You are one very special roomie and much loved bro. My heart goes out to you man. Please keep us posted.
(((stilll)))) so sorry to hear of this. will keep you close in my heart and sending prayers for strength to get thru this time. is wonderful to read that you and her were in a good place with each other when she passed away. i pray you can keep that in mind as you move forward. i know she is very proud of you and your choices. i am proud of you too.... of the choices you have made as you have grown into a wonderful, caring young man. love to you~ take care You.
-- Edited by aunitedway on Wednesday 18th of March 2009 03:08:38 PM
