The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So my A hubby checked himself into rehab. I gave up "suggesting" that perhaps he should go a couple of years ago. This last time he was away taking care of his father after a surgery. I could hear him spiraling down and could only watch, which in retrospect is such a blessing. The funny thing is, part of me is feeling like if I had been there, he wouldn't have bottomed out to this extent. The other part is wondering if I had stepped back a long time ago, we could have gotten to the recovery part a long time ago.
Anyway, my plan while he is gone is to take care of myself and to re-commit myself to Alanon.
Does anyone have any other suggestions of things I should be doing while he is away?
just today i expressed to my a hubby that he has until friday to go to inpatient rehab or i was filing for divorce. i don't know if what i did was right or wrong, i don't know if he believes me or if even i should believe myself. what i do know is that i am tired. i do need to take care of me. even if he goes to rehab or not, i still have to take care of me. and if he goes, do i really want to stay in this relationship? i dunno. its all just too much for me now. i had enough.
TLM, enjoy the peace and calm :) Mine just got home from rehab this weekend.....I took the time he was gone to really dig into Alanon, read lots of good books, take naps and just unwind and allowed myself lots of down time.... It is a well deserved rest , so take it as much as you can for me. I didnt realize how exhausted i was until he was gone, safe in rehab...
Good luck and take care of you :)
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What progress, you ask, have I made? I have begun to be a friend to myself. Hecato, Greek philosopher
Just came away from a coffee with a sponsee and part of our conversation was in regard to how HP works in HP's time and manner. HP works in spite of my wants and wishes. My part is to do what you have done...take care of my part. I don't need to do HP's part although I think I can at times handle all that power. Geeeez think about how fast and furious I could be this time if I had more power.
It might seem that your alcoholic and HP made a connection without you and that your alcoholic has made a decision very different than "going back for another drink". Gratitude time and reinforcement of your own program is my only suggestion which is what you already have been doing. Soooo...er Keep coming back. thanks.
I agree. Relax and take care of you. When my husband went into rehab it was a week before my daughter and I were to take a long planned weekend trip. I almost cancelled the trip but then decided why should I? I wasn't the alcoholic and why shouldn't we still have fun? My boys spent the weekend with grandma and grandpa and my daughter and I had a blast. I think we both had even more fun simply due to the fact that since he was safely in rehab I could relax much more because I didn't need to worry about what might be going on at home. For the month that he was gone, I was able to sleep at night because I wasn't lying awake listening for the sound of the car in the driveway and waiting for the phone to ring with the news that he was in jail or dead. I looked at it as a vacation...a vacation from the stress that I was constantly under due to his drinking.
Well, glad you desided to post... and that your Ah desided to seek rehab...He is taking his first steps, and now it would suggest that you do the same, go over your 12 steps, and put the focus back on you... You deserve happiness, peace and serenity, and your the only one that can give that to yourself... I would suggest resting and relaxing let the worries of it all land in his HP's hands, and let your HP take care of you!
Its a wonderful thing that he took the step, he is still sick but maybe over time it will be better for all in volved...Wishing you a wonderful "Mini Vacation with yourself", get out and do something you love, get a messege, spend a day with friends, hit some F2F meetings, and just live in the NOW... You can do this... Just have to have Faith, and enjoy the down time while you can... No regrets, just looking on to new beginnings...
((((T)))))) Recommtting yourself to the program is the BEST thing you can do at this point for you! Keep posting, reading here and any CAL literature you can get your hands on. Pray, meditate.......get to a F2F meeting and find a sponsor......
So glad to have you here.......Sounds to me like you are headed in the right direction:)
take care of you..... Shelly
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Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!
I don't think anything I ever did had any effect on the ex A's drug use. That was part of his disease, no matter what he didn't go to recovery! He lost his health, money the works, and eventually a beloved pet (which I had to take care of).
