The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
"continued to make personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admit it"
A member spoke about jumping onto this step in the beginning which I feel am doing myself a lot. Does anyone out there feel that they did or do this?
A recent event where I became angry, confused and out of control led me to jumping right into this step apologising for my part in a complete blow out with an ex-recovering ABF which led to him no longer wanting me in his life at all as a friend.
I'm now asking myself is this progression or me apologizing as I feel it's all my fault AGAIN as this is summat that I fall into over and over when I am confronted on summat I have done has hurt someone elses feelings. I'm not sure if am holding onto resentment also as the person involved has not said sorry for his part.
I dealt with the situation letting go of what I felt I did wrong by saying sorry for my part and now strive to not repeat the same flow of destruction again by setting boundaries with ex partner and sticking to it saying NO. The person I am hurting most is myself by creating these situations.
I am feeling very hurt at the moment and almost abandoned.
Then now I think to myself I have lots of friends/al-anon support most important of all a lovely daughter.
Thanks for listening
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Courage is the discovery that you may not win, and trying when you know you can lose.
Owning your part of a situation as soon as possible is always a good thing. What you can't do is have expectations that the other person will or should do the same in return. You can only keep your side of the street clean. We all mess up occasionally and lose it. As you practice the principals of Alanon the instances happen less and less. We remember to walk away or that we don't have to accept every invitation to a fight.
It isn't your fault the person has made the choices he has. Find solace in the fact that you apologized promptly. What he did after that is out of your control.
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
It's my expectation that creates a lot of my problems I feel now it's good I can now see this. That is where I'm at today I see a lot of my character defects coming to light very quickly. What I have to remember is take it one day at time I cannot change over night which I sometimes think is possible somehow.
It's very early days for me in al-anon and I know now I am in the right place that will give me strength and courage to move forward building brick by brick on my confidence. The more effort I put into myself the more I will gain it's like anything in life really.
Thanks for your kinds words of encouragement. I quickly got a reminder again that I am a human that makes mistakes and that's okay.
chezza *hugs*
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Courage is the discovery that you may not win, and trying when you know you can lose.
When I started in the Program, I was reminded that the Steps are put together in the order that they are in for a reason. They each build on the other. Sometimes it is tempting to jumpt into a step that seems easier or more obvious, but it really is important to keep our focus on taking one Step at a Time. For me, if I had jumped right into my 4th and 5th steps without the foundation of the first three Steps, I know that I would have likely done myself damage.
Keep working it, it works!!
Yours in Recovery,
SLS
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Do not be anxious about tomorrow; tomorrow will look after itself. The Bible, from Courage to Change, p.138
When I started in the Program, I was reminded that the Steps are put together in the order that they are in for a reason. They each build on the other. Sometimes it is tempting to jumpt into a step that seems easier or more obvious, but it really is important to keep our focus on taking one Step at a Time. For me, if I had jumped right into my 4th and 5th steps without the foundation of the first three Steps, I know that I would have likely done myself damage.
Keep working it, it works!!
Yours in Recovery,
SLS
Hey sls
Yes, I have heard this said often too at meetings. I hear the steps described as building blocks and stepping stones to a better life the first three being the foundation. What an opportunity I have to make my life better thanks to al-anon. One person I do thanks for opening my eyes to the al-anon program is in fact the very person I speak of in this share which am very grateful of.
I have also been thinking recently on a sponsor too and there is a definite connection with a member who works the program very well which in time when I feel ready will approach on this subject. I even feel it on here the connection right away with the way members speak it's amazing.
Thank you al-anon for giving me the strength
Al-anon meeting give me the acceptance for who I am and the warm love that I was missing out on combined with a warm welcoming hug and a kind ear.
I always leave a meeting with an answer and mine this week was forgiving myself for my wrong doing as a member reminded me that I'm human with flaws like everyone else.
Chezza *hugs*
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Courage is the discovery that you may not win, and trying when you know you can lose.
Great post and great responses for you. It was awarenesses like yours and the responses from other members in Al-Anon when I first got here that saved my life and contributed to my commitment to recovery. When I got responses like this to take the program "One step at a time" "Easy does it" I was able to go back to the first part of the first step and do the right thing. I knew the second part was true it was the first part I was forgetting...but then one of the things that got me into Al-Anon was the insanity from doing life bassackwards. LOL
