The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I was reading the board just now and came across Karilynn's great post about the cat and dog analogy (comparison of cats/addicts and dogs/codependents). If you haven't read it check it out, it was posted on March 2nd.
I just had to start laughing! I had a cat "incident" yesterday. Here in town they were having a local rabies vaccination drive with reduced price rabies shots. You just had to bring your animal down to a couple of places in town and do the deed.
I have "my" two cats, Norbert and Midori who needed the shots so I decided to take advantage of the cheaper price (no comments from those of you who I know are saying something about crowbars and my wallet please.... ).
Well "da boys" are both outside kitties and Midori is a stray that wondered up a couple of years ago that stayed on. He has always been kinda wild, but I have gotten him with much patience to get him to let me pet him. Actually when I go out and feed him, he will not start eating until I have given him a few pets. He just meows until I do, then when I acknowledge him with a pet, he digs in.
So yesterday morning I borrow my mom's cat caddy and choose to get Midori done first as I know he will be more challenging.
I get him in the carrier without much trouble, though he is NOT amused! At the place where they are doing the vaccinations, I get a technician who is giving the shots to help me. She decides it is best to do this inside my car, in case Midori gets away while we are trying to give him the shot. I hadn't really thought of this yet, but was soon to learn that she was wise indeed!
We both get back in the car with the technician holding the carrier in her lap so I can get Midori out for his shot. As soon as I open the little door and begin to reach into the cage I can sense trouble..hehe. Midori begins to hiss at me, something I can't ever remember him doing.
At this point I hear the technician saying something about maybe it being better if I take him down to the vets office to take care of this but I am not seeing the necessity.....yet. I keep talking real sweet and nice to him, trying to calm him down and reach over to rub his head. Well, he decides to "bite the hand that feeds him" instead. He latches on to my right index finger. Okay....so, that was a bad idea! I jerk my hand away and he escapes!!!
Now he is running back and forth on the dash of my car trying to find a way out! I have a towel in the car and grab it and manage when Midori is on my side of the car to get him semi-pinned between the towel and the windshield. I say semi-pinned because he gets his head free and commences to make his unhappiness known by munching on the fingers of my left hand. You know, I never imagined such a small cat could have such strong jaws! In between the tears starting to run down my cheeks I manage to wrench my hand free, grab kitty and guide him back into the carrier and get the door shut.
Now I exit the car and begin hopping around like a wounded kangaroo blood flying from my fingers. I am quite the spectacle as all present, tech's, other pet owners, dogs and cats all pause in wonder at the sight of a 6'4" kangaroo doing all he can to stop the pain in his fingers without breaking into the stream of obscenities that want to be let loose on humanity!!
I finally stop hopping around, but my hands are shaking and I have gained a whole new level of respect for a cat's ability to defend himself when he is scared.
The vet on duty comes over and tells me I need to go see a doctor, as cat bites are really nasty and can cause some bad infections. It's Saturday, so off I head to the urgent care center where I wind up getting a tetanus shot and 10 days of antibiotics.
Midori, he didn't get his shot yet. The irony is not lost on me.
Midori did win an all expense paid trip to the vet clinic for the next 10 days for observation, as he has not had a rabies shot before, and they want to make sure he doesn't for obvious reasons.
Okay, so how does all this tie into Al-anon? The miracle is that I never once got angry at the cat. Not when he was hissing. Not when he was biting me. Not even later when I had to clean up my car, because in a very literal sense Midori "had the expletive scared out of him".
I made a mistake. I forgot that he is a cat. When I reached into that carrier even though I knew he was terrified, I thought, he knows me. I am the guy that feeds him and pets him. He will understand that I am not trying to hurt him...not me!!! The person who could have hauled him off to a animal shelter or called the animal control officer on him when he first wondered up. I have earned his gratitude and trust!!
Ahhhh...yeah. Right. A cat is a cat. Just like an alcoholic is an alcoholic and a codependent is a codependent.
I don't blame the cat. He was doing what a cat does. I have no resentment from the incident towards the cat. When he gets back home, he will still get his food and his pets if he will let me.
So an $8.00 rabies shot has now turned into $80 in doctor/medicine bills..and counting.
The only one needing any forgiveness from me in this is myself. Because I wanted to get mad at myself for being so stupid. For not listening to the tech when she tried to warn me. And I have forgiven myself already. In a day or two my fingers will stop hurting. The soreness in my arm from the shot I got will go away.
I can tell you there was a time when I would not have been so understanding. I would have blamed Midori for what happened and he would have payed the price for my not understanding. He would be gone.
Norbert got his shot later in the day without incident. With him I had a friend drive me down there while I held him in my lap. His biggest complaint was the car ride, he doesnt like it. But he is calmer and not a fighter. When I got back home a kitty treat for him and all was normal.
I am powerless over alcoholism. I am also powerless over cats.
Thanks for the chuckle. And sorry about the jaws of life on your wallet, as I know that's what it took to open it for $80.00. LOL!!
On a serious note, cat bites certainly can be nasty. There was a HUGE yellow stray that I used to feed. I simply named him "Yellow cat", original eh? Anyway, It was on my deck and as I was petting it, it rolled on to it's stomach. *Note to self...don't pet stray kitties on their tummy. That sucker clamped down on the top of my hand!! I too was amazed at the power. Let alone this guy was twice the size of a normal cat. Within an hour my hand puffed up to about 3x it's normal size. My doctor, by law, had to report it and the men and white coats came to get Yellow cat.
I was trying to get them to be kind to Yellow cat and said "he really is a sweet ca- errr...just then they put that neck thingy around him at the end of a pole and Satan himself rose, screaming ferociously, clawing with spit flying. Yellow cat was not going to go peacefully!!
They finally finangled him in to the crate but it took some doing as he was probably about 20 lbs of sheer determination to stay free. I can only guess what happened to Yellow cat (poor kitty).
But at least he didn't poop in my car like yours did dude!!! ROFL!! Sucks to be you!!! LOL!!
(((love you))) Christy
__________________
If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
That is absolute talent my friend...teehee. I am glad norbie went willingly though. Hope Midori is better soon. Hope your fingers and arms are better too.
Love SenoraBob
__________________
Higher Power doesn't always wrap presents in pretty paper.
what a cool story about expectations, watching what they do (not what they say or what we think, etc.), knowing our piece/knowing their piece, etc. You are a good story teller! You love and accept your kitties for who and what they are. Hugs. J.
Great Story David... lol... I have a kitty that would have acted the same way... She loves me, but hates vets.. And at 15 years old this year, I feel she has earned her need to run her own life, and do what she pleases...lol...
I also have (3) "Codependants" that are very spoiled, but I am very grateful for all of them, I am very grateful for this program as well...It has taught me the strength that I never knew I had...
Love hearing great storys...Thanks for sharing... Keep coming back Friends in recovery... Jozie.
I am vacillating between ROFLMAO and then gasp with worry as lil Midori shows you who's really boss The picture of you hopping all around the parking lot was killing me. Sounds like ole Calioppe aka Christine had fun on vaccination day too.
Maria promises not to poke fun at the ole saying "penny wise and pound foolish"
As Bill Cosby says, "if we had our 2nd child first there would be no 2nd child." I am betting Norbert is glad he was first.
Glad you are still holding onto Midori though who knows what will happen in 10 days (big gulp).
Thanks for sharing, Maria
__________________
If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
Aloha David...That story makes "What ever happens, happens" sound like a horror story everytime. I can pin an alcoholic better than a cat. I don't know of any recovery program for co-dependent cat people...do you? I hope you heal good and fast and don't let Midori have an opportunity to exercise a resentment. Ouch!!
I am so sorry about your finger and your car. I know how much you love da' boys. In true codependent form, I feel like it's my fault that you got bit!
Pipers had to go to the vet last week. She wasn't keeping anything down, but her diposition was normal for her. Naturally I was puzzled and worried. So down we went to the same place that saved her last year. When I got my taxes back I signed her up for a health plan. Good thing I did otherwise it would have run me $400 instead of nothing.
She gets an exam which is not fun. She got poked and prodded at both ends: temp taken, sample taken, bloodwork as well as a vaccine that they put up their nose. For the most part, according to her vet tech she's pretty mellow. I left her there while they did what they had to. Came back and figured she would be glad to see me. WRONG! She hissed at me! But she was all loving to the vet tech - purring away, rubbing up against her. Excuse me? What's wrong with that picture? I'm not the one that poked and prodded her! But all her love was for the tech, not her mother.
The lesson here is like you said: cats will be cats, addicts will be addicts. There is nothing we can do about it. It all goes back to Step 1. We are powerless over both. I need to rewrite the 12 Steps and make it for cat owners. No Jerry, there is no hope for codependent cat owners. We are a lost cause. It's life on life's terms. Or is it life on my cat's terms?
Hope you feel better real soon David. Take care of that arm. Thanks for such a great story. I'm sorry you had to get hurt in order to make the rest of smile. Proof positive you can take your program with you wherever you go. Pipers and I are sending you much love and blessings to you and da' boys.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
__________________
It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
what a great story. You certainly have a gift. Daily my siamese reminds me that she is a cat who is going to act like a cat. Some days I get cross at her but I never stop loving her. I too am certainly powerless over cats.
I'm glad you can see the recovery even in this incident.
).
But all her love was for the tech, not her mother.
