The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am almost two years out from leaving the ex A. As many of you will know I left him but still continued to interact with him for the entire year. I am now almost one year out from having any contact at all with him. I believe I am barely scratching the surface of taking care of myself. I'm taking concrete sustained action on isolation and more. The economy is terrible and I can't say I'm optimistic I'm going to be able to get my own apartment for a long time. Regardless I'm looking for ways to best take care of myself. I have plans. I know some of the huge triggers I have and I don't doubt April (which is the month I left him ) will have its tough moments. For me it is just beginning to be better. These last two years have been tremendously difficult, a real challenge. I knew it would be hard to leave him and for me it had to be harder to stay before I felt I could leave. I let go much faster these days but I hung on for ever and then some before I learned to detach. The tools are great but using them is a stretch even after 2 years. I look forward to the day ahead, I relish the challenge and I can be in reality. That's more than I could do when I got here.
Thanks for you share. I needed to hear that today.
Its two weeks since I have seen my exbf. I have been really trying hard to let go. I have not been sleeping well and spent most of last night planning on texting him. I want to see him so much. I could call him and arrange a meeting. Probably not a good move
You've reminded me that detachment doesnt just come overnight and it takes real hard work. I'm going to keep busy today and try my best not to relapse. I can feel my will getting the better of me.
Hi Maresie, it will be one full year in May when my ex and I met face to face in a coffee shop and I told him I would never be able to go back to him and live with him and asked for a divorce.
We had been separated a couple of years before that but still interacted long distance.
It is so tremendously hard. I will never be able to afford my own place, it seems, either. Its going to take a long long time. But I am thinking that this is what is best for me, now, it must be or else HP would not have me where I am. I have accepted this, now.
I need to pay off some massive bills, one of them being the cost of my divorce (my attny bill). I need to keep all my expenses as low as possible for now until these bills get paid off. When they are paid off, I will have the biggest celebration anyone has ever seen! In the mean time, I am extremely frugal in everything, I have to be.
I know that you work so hard every day to just keep your head above water. I do too sometimes, I know so many of us are really just barely hanging on by a thread some days. Thanks for taking the longer view, it helps me to, also. Hugs, J.
Thanks for your posts they always seem to help me I realise I am hanging on to a relationship that is over. To much damage has been done, promises mean nothing I have detached alot been getting on with my own life feelin so much better, But I dont seem to be able to let go completly. I know I will when the time is right. hope I find the strength you have gained thanks for your share
Right now I am focusing on my health and trying to improve that. I find it tremendously hard work to focus exclusively on me. Detachment is indeed an art.
