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Hi everyone, well as you know I have posted on here several times about my binge drinker hubby. The last binge he had was on Super Bowl and I knew one was coming. Sure enough yesterday he called and said he is going to stop at Red Robins for some "wings", um ya , that means beer. That was at 2pm I had a weight loss group to go to, he had an eye exam at 5 and we were " supposed " to go to dinner after. Well fast forward to 6:30 pm, I am calling him, no answer, then I found out he didnt go to his exam, and I keep calling him, ( I know huge mistake ) a girl answers says the phone was left at Outback, and I go to get the phone sure enough there he is WASTED at the bar. Iwalked in and walked out. He then proceeded to go to Claim Jumpers, and then finally ending the drinking tour at BJ's. He proceeded to try and drive home, oh lord , and thank god, got stopped and was arrested. He was drinking from 2 pm to 2am. He called me at 3:45 am, screaming for me to get him, the sherriffs said he is not getting released until 9:30am. So I went back to bed knowing he was safe and everyone else on the road was safe.
Move to 9:30 I am driving down the street to get him and I see a man, gross and dirty walking down the street and I thought another drunk bum, well it was my husband.
He got in the car and OMG he smelled so bad I couldnt stand it, he felt " so bad, and was so sorry, blah blah blah" like usual.
They didnt impound his car good for that, but he is going to have his license suspended for 4 months and a WHOPPING AMOUNT OF FINES and classes to do. I hope the classes and AA helps but I know from being an addict ( clean since 03) it wont help unless they want to be helped.
I am so stressed out now over this. Cannot believe, wait do believe it happened just having a hard time processing it.
Dont know how much more I can take of this. I told him, no more, I will stay by you through this but then after if it continues I am out of here, I dont care if I have to live in my car at least I know I would be at semi peace.
Im still a newbie :) So not one to offer advice or anything but wanted to say my prayers are with you :) Take time for yourself today and do something positive for you.....You deserve to be happy so one step at a time
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What progress, you ask, have I made? I have begun to be a friend to myself. Hecato, Greek philosopher
Some alcoholics act out in this way. There is no way to know when they will stop. Remember the definition of alcoholism is they continue despite the impact. I hope you will make al anon your home. The tools can definitely help. The ex A who I was with totalled two cars. He got hit with countless tickets, reckless driving you name it. He didn't change. I paid for it in some many ways. I could not walk away for a long long time. The losses for me were incredible. I will be paying for years. Try to think of some limits for yourself and make a plan be.
Aloha Loretta....Gosh that brings back memories with the last one being that I was the dispatcher on duty the night one of our highway (CHiP) calls the info in on my alcoholic who I was divorced from at the time. LOL Just told the unit that, "the subject driver is known to this dispatcher." She was cited and released and what ever else and the officer came into dispatch later and filled in the holes in his report. He was compassionate. It's not all about drunk driving. Alcoholism hits it's victims from so many areas that I agree it is cunning, powerful and baffling.
You get to review your decisions anytime you want. If you find that a decision you made needs changing you get to change it anytime you want. What an awesome lesson from the inside of the AFG. "Turn it all over...including yourself" and make decisions that have outcomes in your happiness. No guilt or shame in that!!
The DUI could be a blessing in disguise , he cant drive . the next thing is are u going to have to drive him to work > hope not he can calla co worker and make his own arrangements unless of course driving him to work is not an inconvience to you . Let him figure his own stuff out ,it's time he took responsibiltiy for his own actions. good luck Louise
I always took a hard stand when it came to the car. I don't drive, therefore I don't pay the insurance. I would kick in money for gas, but the rest was up to him. I made it clear after he relapsed, that if he ever got arrested I would not bail him out. I would take his meds down to jail (he would have died without them) but the rest would be up to him. He did crash his car once, and the guy he was in rehab with talked him into walking away from it. The guy was high and was on probation so he was only thinking of himself (go figure). The police did call, and I made him talk to them. He then went to detox and figuring out the car stuff was up to him. It's also why I always kept a separate bank account.
Maybe loosing his license will make him wake up. You know as a recovering addict what it takes to stay sober. Don't enable him. You know how to do this. Congratulations on being a double winner - it's a wonderful thing. Much love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong,
Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
We (AlAnoner's) say: "I told him, no more, I will stay by you through this but then after if it continues I am out of here"
They (Addicts) hear: "ahh good, nothing's changed, and life can continue as normal"
Tough situation to go through for sure, but his interpretation of your words, in my experience at least, is that he's hearing that his world can and will continue as is....
Take care Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
