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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> mixed emotions
Post Info TOPIC: mixed emotions
Tracy


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mixed emotions
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Just been to a x factor tour concert with my little girl I dont think I was even there.  One minute the songs were making me miss the A.  Next I was tellin myself I dont believe in love have to look after number one.  Then beating myself up about stayin for four years.  Then my programme kicked in I told myself he doesnt mean it.hes sick.  We all do the best we can at the time.  That its my responsibility to love me and his to sort self out.  Then I decided to enjoy the smile on my little gurls face she is 12 she really believed the contestants were waving to her

I know I am at one of the most difficult parts of my recovery coming out of denial and making healthy choices for me even though they go against my will.

just wish my heart would catch up with my head and my faith could turn to complete trust.

Getting there though one day at a time
thanks

-- Edited by Tracy at 18:43, 2009-03-04

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shellyj123


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(((((Tracy)))))
Sounds to me like you are doing well...and your faith will turn to complete trust in time...

Keep it simple

shelly



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Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!

Only God can turn a mess into a message.

Prayin' on it, Stayin' on it, I will survive it.

If nothing ever changes, nothing ever changes.
hotrod


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Thanks Tracy for sharing your process. 

It truly is progress not perfection.

One day at a time we gain a little more serenity and wisdom and trust.

Glad you decided to enjoy your little girls smile, you are making lasting memories.

Keep living in the solution





-- Edited by hotrod at 19:21, 2009-03-04

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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
Jozie


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Tracy....


yes it is amazing what a 12 year old smile can do :) I have an 11 yr old boy and his smile brings me back everytime... Thanks for sharing...You are getting there, it may be slow moving but at least you are headed in the right direction... Good for you keep up the great progress, and treat you & your daughter to some more alone time... May do ya both some good :) Works for me :)

Friends in Recovery...
Jozie

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Thee Only Journey I Control Is MY Own :)

Gratitude.... Is a God Honoring Attitude! :D
maresie


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I had to let go of beating myself up.  I hope you will too.  I no longer miss the ex A. The person he is now is not who he was.  I no longer believe I had the abiityt to influence him in any way shape or form.

Maresie.

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maresie
Loupiness


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"just wish my heart would catch up with my head and my faith could turn into complete trust"

((Tracy))

Getting my heart and head in the same place was, and continues to be, one of the most difficult parts of recovery for me.  It was something I wanted, and could logically understand, but I could not make happen.  Through working this program over time I am slowly getting there.  It is hard to get over what I want and think should be. Yep, it takes time.  I still do not like my situation and I wish things could be different, but I can acknowledge now that things between my sober exA and me never were very good, and I really wasn't happy. I just didn't know it at the time. It was the codependent in me that would have stayed in the relationship while firmly planted in denial.  Denial, it is so very powerful...

You are doing well, Tracy.  Hang in there and keep coming back.

Blessings,
Lou







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