Ok, so it was a really bad day that day.  I thought long and hard and did some soul searching and talking to HP and I came to pretty much the exact conclusion that Jerry laid out.  I decided that I know we are meant to be together and even if he does go we'll be together again.  So I decided I'm not bringing it up, I'm enjoying the now in the now and not worrying about later.  Things are already 100% better between us and I have no idea if he's made a decision or what's going on in his head but I do know that things seem back to normal and I am going to be happy no matter what. 

I'm having problems with my oldest daughter again and that is my new primary concern.  Also, my son is having problems in school and that is my next issue to resolve.  Sometimes I look at everything I have to deal with and think how can any one person deal with all this stuff on their own?  I feel pretty good about the fact that I do it one step at a time even when I don't like what I have to do.  Being an adult isn't so bad.  I know in my heart that I'm trying to do the right thing every day and I think other people can see that.