The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
It's childish, I know. But AH didn't even bother to get me a birthday cake. He was able to go pick up our take out food for dinner and get smashed while waiting for it, but couldn't think of me. My three kids felt so bad, but it's not their fault. They expected Dad to take of it.
It is not childish to want to be remembered on such a special day. You are in my thoughts and prayers and i am sending you many birthday hugs and wishes for a happy and healthy 40th year.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
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What progress, you ask, have I made? I have begun to be a friend to myself. Hecato, Greek philosopher
First thing tomorrow go and buyyourself a belated birthday cake with lots of candles , buy yur fv icecream and you and the kids sit down and enjoy I also always buy myself a birthday present , i feel I earned it . hehe oh and by the way HAPPY BIRTHDAY . louise
Happy Birthday! I'm sorry you were disappointed... it's certainly not childish to want to be remembered. Today's my sister's 55th and she sounded happily surprised when I called to wish her a happy birthday. Make a cake and have an unbirthday party tomorrow with the kids!
well HEY Happy Birthday!!! They say you turned 40!!! Create a new tradition for your bday by planning a girls day out for shopping, biking, hiking, getting massages, getting manicures and pedicures, lunch out , time away from the family. Enjoy it like you've never enjoyed your bday before. Feel free to begin this week call it a practice run if you want with your friends since it's a day late. I have a feeling the great idea may catch on. This way your special days and special celebrations will have the right people, place and activities all rolled into one. Make your bdays the exact way you want them to be. Take back the control.
I agree please purchase a cake,ice cream and flowers for yourself and celebrate tomorrow. Your children will enjoy it and remember our thoughts are with you.
Happy Birthday Desperate...I agree with Hotrod...go get yourself a cake, flowers and the makings for the best and biggest HFSundae you can make. You got family behind you on this one.
I spent many Birthdays, anniversaries and every other event the same way, but you know what? You don't have to!! It took me a long time to figure that out. I hope you take some suggestions and do something for yourself. You just can't have expectations when you live with an alcoholic. You'll be bummed out every time.
Soooooooooooo....Make your own Birthday! Have another one, the way YOU want it!!
Happy Birthday!!!!
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
YUP, pisses me off, too. My husband never does anything for my birthday. Last year he gave me some cash! What a joke. Oh, well. We can only control us and change our reactions. This year I may tell him what I want. Maybe you can tell your AH how you felt about not being remembered or thought of, but it might be pointless since he is not in any recovery program. I guess we can just change expectations. I don't know either. Hmmm.
HAPPY 4OTH!!! YOU ARE FINALLY OVER THE HILL... MORE MOUNTAINS TO COME!
It really isn't just an A thing. I've spent many birthday and other holidays without a gift. I carried the resentment for many years. My husband never knew how I felt so after 35 years I finally told him. I carried it around way too long. I also told him how he taught my children not to think about the important people in their lives. He was angry as he thought I was saying he was not a good husband or father. It will probably still happen so I will not have expectations and I will take the advice given here and treat myself for my birthday....which is the 19th....hint-hint!!! LOL
I'm so sorry that happened. We've all been there. It's sad when the kids see that. Having said that, remember your birthday is about you.
Go out with the kids and celebrate the fact that they have the best Mom in the world! Celebrate who you are. You have lots to be proud of. I always make it a habit of doing something nice for me. It doesn't have to be expensive. It can be doing something you love. For me, it's taking a long walk in the woods. Remember calories don't count so you can have your and eat it too!
I believe in birthday weeks, not just one day. For one week, it's all about me! So you have 6,7, or as many days as you want to be in a week to celebrate you! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Every year my dad would make me a beautiful lunch for my birthday (or we would go out) All my life, I spent the afternoon of my birthday with my dad. And then he died and I had to figure out a new tradition. So, for the past 2 years I have taken my daughters out to lunch and for manicures. I miss my dad but the new tradition is so good for the kids and I.
It's your birthday and you can choose to do whatever you want to with it. AND my kid's b-days are right near Christmas (mine is Christmas eve) so, in the summer, when I have a few extra bucks we do an "un-birthday" and treat ourselves to manicures and lunch out. We can't rely on others to treat us as we wish to be treated, so we can treat ourselves exactly the way we wish to be treated!!
I am right there with ya on the Pissed off of it all when it comes to this disease..... HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY THO.... Sorry it was such a bad day for you... I know what you mean tho... My Birthday is Christmas DAY!!! It is usually a Cold day in Hell that I get one as well .....for I guess no one thinks it matters to me!!! But ya know... Sometimes maybe just ONCE I cake would make it special...At Least to me...I think my best Birthday was my 31st...lol... That was the year that my THEN 7 yr old son bought me one out of his money... That was the great gift he could have givin me!!! Just for thinking of ME, instead of Hoo Hoo... :)
Happy Birthday. Birthdays are hard for me. I don't do well with holidays or celebrations. Something to work on. Be as nice to yourself as you can stand.
(((((HapPY BiRthDaY)))))) to YoU!! HapPy BiRthDay tO yOu ... hApPy BIRTH day to U...." Love, " HAPpy BIRth DaY To YOUUUUUU!!!
hope you take others es&h on this .... to keep moving forward and to enjoy it as you would like. celebrate as you wish~ lovely ideas! i also agree its soooo wonderful to let the children see that you are not disregardin *Special Day and/or Days in You and in their (memory making) lives!
While I sometimes thing some holiday are just to support the card companies a birthday is important. Even though my AW upsets me sometimes I always buy her a card for every holiday. I guess it's my way of saying I thinking of you and I still care about you. Just remember this day when it is his birthday. Perhaps a wilted flower would do him good.
Keep your head up and think of all the nice friends you have here.
Oh no! I am so sorry to hear about that! I turned 40 21/2 years ago! I remember fighting with my AH and ending up in a situation that was not pretty! I hope you are OK. 40 is a big deal; at least to us apparently! Hang in there! It gets better! Hugs Kathleen
In Alanon we learn that we can't allow ourselves to depend only on others to make us happy. Do something new and perhaps shocking for you to try -like Brazilian Capoiera. Your AH might just be so surprised by this new idea that he might start to want to make himself happy (you know he already knows that won't happen until he gets with a program). These 'new ideas' that Alanon encourages us to take up are excellent examples of taking care of ourselves and sometimes...just sometimes enough of a change of pattern to get Mr. Forgot the cake to take up some healthy recovery..... they get jealous that you seem so happy.. "it works if you work it" serenity and b-day prayers...I'm 49 and about 5 wks away from the BIG 50...hmmmm guess I'll take up something BIG for my b-day. You've got me thinking...
Celebrate who you are. You have lots to be proud of. 
I always make it a habit of doing something nice for me. It doesn't have to be expensive. It can be doing something you love. For me, it's taking a long walk in the woods. Remember calories don't count so you can have your 
and eat it too! 
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to YoU!! 
hApPy BIRTH day to U...." 
Love, " HAPpy 
lovely ideas! i also agree its soooo wonderful to let the children see that you are not disregardin *Special Day and/or Days in You and in their 
(memory making) lives! 
