The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
For me personally love addiction goes hand in hand with my codependency and they are core issues although I certainly have plenty of issues! There is an interesting memoir out at the moment that has a very good grasp on love addiction called love junkie. Rachel's Love Junkie the details of which are in the link above.
Rachel's words are pretty powerful and her anecdotes about the kind of relationships she's had raw and potent. I hope this link may help some of the people who also deal with this issue.
Great help again helping me to focus on myself. the A's drink to fill a whole. We try and fix the A obsess so they can love us enough to fill our gap. I understand logically that I need to love me , look after me. That we can only have a healthy relationship once we are content in ourselves. I have always been better at theory than practice. Really trying to do the footwork thanks again
I think for me so much of it is about boundaries. And that isn't just the external boundary its the internal boundary. This is as far as I go. No I will not be a door mat. What is the difference between being a people pleaser and being cordial.
When I set limits I often get accused of being rude. A friend of mine sent me an email today saying I was rude when I said I was too busy to handle the 10 emails a day he wants me to answer. I'm not of course. I'm able to send my ground today but that's normal. I know when I change people in my life are not necessarily too thrilled with it. So that leaves a huge gap for me.
Personally I have to totally evaluate my relationships day in day out.
Thanks for the link. I am not sure that I have a love addiction to my EXABF but after living together so long and being exposed to such unhealthy thinking and behaving I am concerned about setting boundaries and putting myself first should I date someone new. I am adding this book to my reading list.
__________________
Curlee
Just for today I will not harbor unhealthy thoughts.