The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear" the rules " From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1 " ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports: It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant theother one. 1. You can either ask us to do something... or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus didNOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 2 colors...like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not Acolor. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really ..
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But, did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can -
to give them a bigger laugh
__________________
If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
OMG, I found this soooooooooo funny and you know, so much of this can be woman's rules now too, especially this here woman who's been in Alanon for some nine years now.
Here's my take on a few of the numbered items as they apply to my Alanon recovery. I hope y'all will get a laugh and share some of your favorites.
in recovery, Maria
Men are not mind readers.
Sigh, how many times did I use subtlety to get others to understand my plight. I learned I need to open my mouth and ask for what I want. I do not always get what I want, but I need to ask and then figure out what to do with the answer.
Bout the toilet seat.
Complaining doesn't work, never did, never has, never will. I am much more direct these days. I can say what I mean, mean what I say but not say it mean.
Crying is blackmail.
I am still gonna cry when I am hurt, when my feelings are hurt, when I've lost a loved one, but when I use crying to get my needs met, it doesn't serve any purpose.
Yes and No are perfectly good answers.
In rhythm of JADE - I don't need to Justify, Argue, Defend or Explain my answers, my situation. I can say yes and no. Also, No has been very powerful in my life. I no longer say yes when I really need to say no, no for Maria. If someone is disappointed in me, so be it. "What others think of me is none of my business." Saying yes to Maria is equally important because what "Maria thinks of Maria is very important.
Finally, the rest of them mean acceptance to me Acceptance for me the way I am -- perfectly imperfect yet someone who loves this program and continues to work because it works for me.
-- Edited by Maria123 at 18:34, 2009-02-27
__________________
If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
Aloha Maria!! Great and humorous!! The one about Chris Colombus is not factual. He actually did not know where he was when he stopped...and I noticed that this list of #1 suggestions doesn't have anything about comments on our out of town driving either...LOL Great post...gratefully (((((hugs)))))
I can accept and even practice every single thing except for one..
"You have too many shoes." That's not even in my concept or realm of possibility!!
I wonder if I have a chromosome mixed up somewhere. I have more shoes than most women. But not exactly a lot of variety. I have at least ten pairs that are identical, in various states of wear and tear - some 25 years old, some brand new.
But one thing I have learned in Alanon - actually was just discussing this with my daughter last night. With all the stuff my teenage granddaughter is going through, I could sit and listen without jumping into man-mode, problem-solving mode. I realize there are times when a black & white perspective is needed and appreciated, but usually it's not like that.
What was really special about the evening was that I got all the latest from my sober daughter at dinner about what she's going through, and shortly after she was the featured speaker at my AA meeting and it was almost ALL gratitude. I don't know if it helped anybody else but I sure left feeling a lot better.
It seems I do a lot less jumping in and solving other people's problems... they not only manage to survive, they often get better. I know I sure do.
Silly, silly girl! Hubby and I had a few simple rules to live by. They were not negotiable.
1. No matter what kind of day we had we always kissed each other goodnight and said "I love you."
2. Whenever we left on our errands we would always tell each other to "Be careful".
3. We were always right even when we were wrong! This last one was a way that forced us to ask: How important is it? Is there a compromise? That forced us to use our Alanon and AA skills to the max.
4. I never asked him to put lotion on my back (he always thought it felt sticky!, but I would happily apply it to his.
5. If Piper brought in something really gross or a frog, he had to pick it up!
Thanks for making me smile. Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong,
Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
__________________
It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Acceptance for me the way I am -- perfectly imperfect yet someone who loves this program and continues to work because it works for me.
Hubby and I had a few simple rules to live by. They were not negotiable.
