Spirit/mind - Al-Anon Family Group

Tracy · ~*Service Worker*~

Spirit/mind

maresie · ~*Service Worker*~

detachment helps. Have you looked up how to do that www.coping.org. Detachment helps you to take a step back and stop the inner wheel of constant cirticism and self doubt. Detachment takes practice. In Al anon we also remember that every A has their own higher power. If you ever wonder about who gets into recovery go to an open AA meeting there are plenty of them. You'll hear there that there is no formula for who does take the step and who doesn't. Many relapse but some continue to be sober. No one can say for sure who will and who won't. All I have to remember is that they are not going to do it for me.

No one just walks away from any meaningful relaitonship with ease. For some of us there is much heart ache. Neverthless al anon has some very very useful tools, get busy for example. The busier you are the less available you are to take those calls, the less time you have to "obsess", the less you can beat yourself up. Getting busy can be constructive, useful and a great way to embrace the program by going to lots of meetings. Set short term goals. Allow yourself time away from the issue of are they going to make it?

I think it was very hard for me to take those steps. I waited a long long time for the A to change. Eventually I stopped waiting.

Maresie.

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

Tracey...that didn't sound much like self pity but more a cry for additional help.

For me the growth came in practicing the behavior not practicing the thinking.
When you do more of the change rather than think more of the change you will
experience the differences and then go to the next step either up, down or
sideways. When I learned how to say "NO" I said no to everyone and everything
at first and then over time learned to moderate by taking more time to think and
make better decisions for me for right reasons. We don't start at the end and we
never graduate. Letting go was risky and fearful when I didn't know what would
happen after I did. This is where I learned to trust the fellowship and then the
fellowship and a Power greater than Jerry F.   It does work...if you work it. Take
your time and give yourself grace and time to practice.

It is said in program that we are as addicted as the alcoholic.  For me I found that
was true. I also found that when I was having trouble detaching it was because
I still wanted to "use", play in my addiction even when it hurt.

You will be able to do this. Go to meetings, read the literature, listen with an open
mind, practice the steps and traditions, hangon to your sponsor, trust your HP and
WALLAH!! you arrive.

(((((hugs))))) smile

serendipity · ~*Service Worker*~

Forgive me if I am repeating what has already been said> I was addicted to my A. THat explains all of my insane, unexplainable behaviors. All the things my ex would think of and do to get his drugs are the exact same things I would think of to get him. I needed him. Part of it was love, part was co-dependence and a huge part of it was addiction.

These 12 steps can help us with our addiction to the A.

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.