The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
It has been a hard week, my AS has been on a binge this week came in and made got me so very upset, I tried to be calm and matter of fact, but after he left I was a wreck.
I gave him food and some snacks to take with him, I am not at the place yet where I can completely put him out of my life. I look at him and I see what he was and could have been.
Someone mentioned about the loss of quality of life in our situations, I try very hard to live one day at a time, but I can remember the time when I looked forward to so much for my son, college, girlfriends, a good life of his own.
He is so lost, so miserable, I wish, I wish, I wish.
"To eat bread without hope is still slowly to starve to death"
I know for me the hardest thing was to find a place where i could detatch myself from my Alcoholic. I thought detatching would show him I didnt love him and that i didnt care. I finally came to a place where I can detatch with love and still have hope. Without hope life is only surviving and I chose to want more then surviving.
There is nothing wrong with hoping and wishing for a better tomorrow for those we love. Just remember to love yourself first.
Your in my prayers
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What progress, you ask, have I made? I have begun to be a friend to myself. Hecato, Greek philosopher
I can only begin to imagine how painful this is for you, and send you my love and prayers. Please remember there is always hope and your wishes are hope. I try to remember Faith, Hope and Charity.
Faith in your HP to care for you, Faith in yourself. Be a good companion to yourself. Never despair. Hope is a positive thing it brings light and gives confidence. Charity, better defined as compassion. Detaching with love doesn't mean abandoning those we love, always be kind.
It's the hardest thing in the world to watch the people we love hurt themselves. Feeling powerless just ! It may be life of life's terms, but it still ! All we can do is try and detach as best we can. Turn him over to his HP. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
-- Edited by Karilynn at 08:15, 2009-02-27
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
(((((Dreamsover))))) Aloha. Tough love is the toughest to give. Tough love for yourself is the same. Tough self love is turning the entire situation including yourself over to a power greater than your self and stepping out of the way between your son and your HP so they can meet. I'm soooo glad I was in the program when my alcoholic/addict son came to live with me...soooo grateful. The only thing I had to lean on was the program; HP, Family Groups, steps, traditions, slogans, literature, meeting etc etc etc. When I let go I let go of everything and that was the only way my HP could make contact with me with out distractions though I had many of them. Today my son is clean and sober married, grandchildren and owns a business along with a sterling loving personality in this community. To think that once he faced me off and told me "College is what YOU want me to do!! I need to do what I think is best." That including his drinking and drugging at that time. He was right and I turned him over. He included me in his trials and tribulations and I continued to allow him to own them all the good, the bad, the ugly. God's and everyone elses wills is not about me. I can barely manage my own life yet that is my responsibility. LOL
Your compassion is admirable and the problems temporary if you practice.
(((((Dreams)))) I just read your post and my heart breaks for you. I can not imagine the place you are in or how hard this must be for you. I'm a single mom to a 12 yr old son and pray to God that I never have to know your pain, as I can't imagine I could bare it alone. The lucky thing is you don't have to bare it alone, you have a HP to lean on and guide your steps. Please continue to take it one day at a time and trust in His will for you....
Keeping it simple shelly
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Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!
! It may be life of life's terms, but it still 
