Al-Anon Family Group

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Newbie to alanon, life after treatment
Post Info TOPIC: Newbie to alanon, life after treatment
inhisarms


Veteran Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 81
Date:
Newbie to alanon, life after treatment
Permalink  

confuseHi Everyone!  I am so excited to have found this board.  My fiance is currently in treatment for drug/alcohol addiction.  So far things are going well and he seems positive (has been in treatment before).  I guess i am worried about life when he comes back.  I hear so many horror stories about early recovery.  Any adice? words of wisdom?  How do i get over the fea, the hurt and build back trust?

Thanks in advance

__________________

What progress, you ask, have I made? I have begun to be a friend to myself.
Hecato, Greek philosopher
nmike


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 2677
Date:
Permalink  

(((((inhisarms)))

Welcome to MIP! This is a good place to come for experience, strength, and hope. The best thing to do is to take care of yourself. As you know there are no guarantees but always. We have to make changes in ourselves too. Go to F2F meetings, read the Alanon literature, and work your own program. Keep coming back.

In support,
Nancy

__________________
Jerry F


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 13696
Date:
Permalink  




Aloha Kimberlee!!

How you do it best is not alone.  Do it with support and with others who have
known exactly where and what you are going thru at the moment and what you
will go thru tomorrow and the next day.  You will find all of these people for real
in the face to face meeting rooms of the Al-Anon Family Groups and when you
think that your situation is really the worse ever you will meet others who have
come thru conditions you couldn't imagine and who will be telling their stories
with gratitude and a smile on their face.   Mostly they will also grateful for being
in the rooms and getting love and support from those who have come before them.

You will find the hotline number in the white pages of your local phone book under
Al-Anon.  Call that number and get the meeting times and places where you can find
live meetings with live people who will understand and be supportive of where you
are and what you are trying to do in your life with an alcoholic/addict.   Not many
will give you advise and most all will share suggestions from their experiences that
worked for them.  Get literature and read it all.  Learn the 12 steps, 12 traditions,
slogans and Serenity Prayer and look for another experienced member who has
strengths you find desirable and ask them if they will support your recovery.

All stuff I did and which worked for me.  More suggestions coming from other
MIP members for sure.

(((((hugs))))) your's in love and support.   smile

 



__________________
Mariner


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 237
Date:
Permalink  

Hi ((((Inhisarms))))

Welcome to MIP I am so glad you found us. Here you will find so much love and support to help you .
The experience strenghth and hope you will find here is invaluable, and you'll never be alone.
The focus here is on YOU and learning to take care of yourself. As others will tell you going to F2F meetings and working your own 12 step program will help you.

I found MIP when my Abf went into treatment, he was in a 12 step program rehab. To say it was a rollercoaster ride is an understatement biggrin. So many changes ,so many obstacles to work around. Having a relationship with someone in recovery is hard. Without Al-Anon and MIP I doubt I would have survived to today.
My es&h is to read as much literature around the subject of Codependancy as you can. I found out I am codependant, knowing this and learning why I behave in ways that can harm me, has given me a lifeline. A lifeline to my recovery as in many ways I'm as sick as my bf and have to learn a healthier way of living. Working your own program will help you both but ultimatly it has to be about you .Use the search button at the top of this page, type in codependancy or relationships in recovery, reading others experiences really helps. 
I've learnt so much here and I hope you do to.

Keep coming back and keep posting.

With love hugs and Gratitude Carol



__________________
maresie


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 4578
Date:
Permalink  

There are some great resources in books, by Hazelton, Pia Melody, Melody Beattie and other authors on codependency. There are also some great web sites which have excellent tools on dealing with issues of codependency.  One of them is www.coping.org. One book I highly recommend is Getting them Sober order it if you can.

Maresie.

__________________
maresie
inhisarms


Veteran Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 81
Date:
Permalink  

Thanks for the warm welcome!  I have gone to f2f meetings but not consistently.  I know I need to get back, for me.  It is so amazing to have this online community though, as i can look up topics all day long no matter what the hour and find hope, strength and know that i am not struggling alone.

Reading the posts, i guess has been a rude awakening for me.  Hearing how life after treatment is a rollercoaster just scares the crap out of me.  I feel like i have been on a rollercoaster for over and was hoping treatment was going to calm things down.

I do know that my fiance has to work things out for himself, and that he needs his program to be a part of his daily life.  I guess i am selfish, but i feel like i have given so much to the relationship, so when is it my turn?

Ha HA guess i will learn to wok through that ......

Thanks again everyone!

__________________

What progress, you ask, have I made? I have begun to be a friend to myself.
Hecato, Greek philosopher
brightmommy


Veteran Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 47
Date:
Permalink  

Hi...welcome to MIP...you are in the right place...begin to take the steps to work on what you are powerless over...turn it over to your HP...and Let Go and Let God...for me if I have fear then I am not having Faith in my HP, God...I am not trusting that He will help me through the struggles of life...If I turn it all over to Him seems that my life is better and I don't have to worry about the yesterdays or tomorrows but stay in Today! Take it one day at a time and work on it one issue at a time...

I will be thinking of you,
Brightmommy

__________________
"if you can't say nothing nice, don't say nothing at all!!"
Sis63


Veteran Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 28
Date:
Permalink  

Hi ((((Inhisarms)))),

Welcome to MIP! I'm fairly new here as well! I have found such comfort in the posts and in this community of friends.

I find that the slogans and daily readers are a great source of help! Take it One Day at a Time, and my personal favorite...Progress not perfection! Don't be too hard on yourself if you slip back to old habits, as well. It takes time and patience and a lot of "working our program"! Trust in your HP and turn it over to him!

And Keep coming back!

In Support!
Sis

__________________
Jozie


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1558
Date:
Permalink  

In His Arms ((((((HUGS))))))

Welcome to our family... With MIP the more the marrier...

Glad the he is in treatment, and glad that you found this board, because doing it alone never works as well, as to when you have a huge support group behind you... And Honey this is the place, speak your fears, (your experiences, your strength, & Your Hope) AKA...ESH...

I know with me I can get on here and speak my mind and my heart, adn no one judges, and it is just wonderful... I am always glad to make new friends so Welcome again, and Good Luck to ya...And if you have F2F of course go all ya can... They are great...

Keep Coming Back "it Works if ya work it"
One Day at a Time...
Jozie... :)

__________________

Thee Only Journey I Control Is MY Own :)

Gratitude.... Is a God Honoring Attitude! :D
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.
Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Newbie to alanon, life after treatment