The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
A few of you have suggested that husb may like to come to meetings with me.
He is always interested in hearing what I learn from f2f and from posting here.
I feel however that if he were there at meetings with me my ability to share would be comprimised.....although I know we can participate in the meeting without sharing.....
I currently feel (am I selfish here) that the journey I'm on is just for me and about me.....but I have noticed that he and my wee family do seem to be absorbing my journey by osmosis...and they are a bit calmer too.
Appreciate any experience and thoughts you may have.
My Thoughts are this... Your program is FOR YOU..However, if YOU feel comfortable taking him, some of the time, then go for it, but I would do what makes you comfortable...
We have a Great Couple that joins our group from time to time and they both share, He use to be an A, and they have an Ason... They are great people and I would say working their program together has gave them so much... You can tell...
I joined the program with my Sister-in-law, so I can say that having someone there, to ride home with and talk to after my meeting is Great...But you should make the choice that best suits you...
i think its too distracting personally. At the same time there are sometimes speaker meetings that are very good to share. I've made the mistake of going to meetings with people I've been involved with. I wouldn't do it again.
Yeah... to each their own, but for me - it would take away WAY too much from my comfort level and ease of sharing, if my spouse was there with me.... Heck, I was a tad uncomfortable when my ex's sponsor started attending my main Al-Anon meeting. If he could find a different meeting, I am guessing that would be the best for all concerned.
Please try not to feel guilty about this - this is a good exercise in self-care, where you need your meetings.... for you.
Take care Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
((((Ness)))) There is a couple in our f2f meeting and they seem quite happy together there, he is also a recovering addict so it is nice to have him there to lend some insight to that side of the equation. You have to be comfortable with your decision, and if A being there prevents you from sharing and getting the most you can from your meetings, maybe you should talk to your HP and see how He feels about it:) The most important thing is YOU and YOUR recovery.
Keeping it simple shelly
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Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!
For me personally, no way would I do that. I know I would feel inhibited then resentful of my spouse for me feeling inhibited and not feeling free to share. Vicious cycle...
I made that mistake in counseling sessions and he continues to use what I said in those sessions against me. Of course, he's still actively drinking too, so I'm probably not the best example for you to work with :)
On the other side of that coin, I have no problem taking my grown kids with me if they want to go to f2f meetings and am not in the least inhibited in my ability to share at the meeting.
As others have posted, I do think it really boils down to what YOU feel comfortable with. I like the suggestions of maybe attending speaker meetings together, but perhaps you can each attend meetings on your own so that you both will feel completely at ease with it. Maybe attend one or two meetings together to "introduce" him to the group, but after that go back to working your own programs.
Just my thoughts. Take what you like and leave the rest!
Well for me I find that when members invite thier husbs to a meeting usually it's 'hubbys idea to start with and then the Al-Anon member does not share. so to me it's detremental. How ever my husb and I attended a JOINT AA -Al-Anon meeting to gether for yrs and it was amazing but both of us were in recovery , it is nice to hear the same topic discussed by both both programs as most of u know we simply don't think like hehe . In an Al-Anon meeting a AA member should not share as an alcoholic as our literature says please leave out side programs OUT SIDE. Double winners are awsome to have in meetings but only if they are activiley working both programs . We have open meetings when a group is celebrating an aniversary perfect time for hubby to hear a speaker no pressure on either you or husb . just listen . round ups and rallys or gratitude day celebrations are another occasion when members from both programs appear as speakers . just a thought . Louise
After my f2f today I know for sure I would feel comprimised if husb was there. A topic was raised which I would not have participated in had he been there. I guess HP gave me my answer!
