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Well I woke up this morning with high hopes of making my (usually Difficult) Monday, a good day... My son had a delay, so that put my morning on hold some, and then as I getting ready to load him on the bus I get a phone call telling me that "YET ANOTHER" on of my Old Friends had Overdosed, and not made it...
I mean, Think everyone understands that you grow older and loose friends, but ya know, I have lost about 15 people in the last 15 years, and out of those 15 people, tey have died of: Drug overdose, Alcohol Poisoning, Herione, crack, or car wrecks due to alcohol either by the hands of themselve, or someone else... I live in a small town..So when something happens it is a big deal...
My thing is I dont understand, after ALL my friends, seeing there friends die, why they can't see that if they would just change their life, they too could have a chance at something better for themselves... I mean I know alot of people that a SEEN alot of these deaths, first hand... Witnesses of the death its self, adnd yet they get up the nextday and hit thier pipe, or shot their drug of choice without even thinking of the friend they just barred, and in some deals it is the Brother they just bared... I just don't understand.... I am not saying my no means that ALL these people were bad people.. The one that past this weekend, was well respected, hard worker, kind to everyone, had no kids, but always had a smile on his face and said hi know matter were or who he was with...These kind of things are the things that drives me crazy about my Abrother, and Step son, that that don't see that the reason thier friends are dropping like fly's... It is because of the lifestyle... I don't know... I just needed to vent some and just see if anyone else gets or understands the crazyiness of ALL the addictions.. I don't care to bare all my friends brfore I am 40 but it is sure looking like I am getting close....
Jozie I have sent myself crazy over the years trying to understand addictions and how people carnt see the damage they are doing. It is easy to look at others and see how they must change but I now realise I am just as bad. I am addicted to caregiving , to fixing, controlling. I have people in my life who like drugs, drink, gambling etc etc are verybad for me but i dont stop. well now i am, i am looking at me. we all have lessons to learn everyone is doing their best with the tools they have. I am trying to concentrate on the things I can change. I know the people around me who care wounder why I didnt just leave my AB as he was bad for me. It can look very simple from the outside. But HP was taking me through a journey I was just where I needed to be although it was painful and may have seemed crazy to people around me I have learnt many valuable lessons. some people who reach out to HP do come out the other side.
Hope this helps and thankyou so much for your anwers to my posts they have been very helpful
I think it simply comes down to denial. It's kinda like smoking. They know people that die of lung cancer but keep on smoking (I'm an x-smoker), even though it is the #1 contributing killer. "It won't happen to them". Until it does. I was watching an interview with Patrick Sweazy. A Dr. said his chances of survival could improve 50% if he'd stop smoking, he hasn't.
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
I think it is part of the disease. I know I also have my own denial so I try to focus on that. For me personally I can't be "friends" with those who do drugs. I'm not being judgmental I'm being protective of myself. I've certainly done the research. I have to let go and let god do it.
For me personally being around addicts is very difficult. I have to do it for a certain extent at the moment and detachment is the only way I go around.
Thanks to all for your thoughts, as for hanging out with addicts, I don't... These are all people that at one time in my life, WAS a big part of who I was.. It is just hard to understand... Another thing that Really bugged me was they let this guy lay died thru the night and half the next day... "I;m guessing they needed time to clean the house out"... But I would be willing to bet, that in celibration of my friends death, those people wont even make it to his funeral.. Those people are sitting home on their couch right now, shotting there next shot... Just makes my sick i guess....
I know it is known of my business, and doen't connect directly to me, but things like this truly heart my spirit when you look at the person, in their life, and see such promise...
Sad I suppose...Sorry to go on and on, just needed to get it off my head!!!
I'm right there with ya Jozie......I can't even begin to count the number of young kids/adults that I have seen die within the past 10 yrs from drugs,etc. Jeff was a great guy........always had a smile....it's sad to see that lost forever now, but I keep thinking that he has his own HP that is taking care of him now.
keeping it simple shelly
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Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!
My son had been in AA for 12 years and relapsed 3 years ago. All his doctors and all the rehab centers told him that he would die within a year if he continued.
He continued to drink and passed way in his sleep a little over a year ago.
He too had a wonderful smile and was everyones friend as well. None of his drinking friends attended his funeral, however they all visited me individually, cried, talked about the difficulty stopping and then left to go home and get drunk.
It is a powerful disease and I am so sorry that you have lost another friend to it
I am truly sorry for your loss, this gentle man is now home with his parents in heaven... He lost his mom as a young man, and his father a few years back... I don't know your pain, but I have seen it, MANY times in the last handful of years...Lossing my Afather was tragic, but to lose of a child is untouchable...My prayers go out to you,and your family and I hope that you focus on that Smile your son had, for that will carry you thru many days, of good dreams...
That is how I have to remember 40% of my old friends that are no longer here.. I am very blessed that I decided 12+ years ago to be "Something differant"... I am soo Blessed to have found this sight and all of you people...
I hope my post did bring any ill feelings, for sometimes I forget that others, have it worse off them I...
Friends in Recovery... One Day At A Time!!! Jozie..
Thank you for your concern. You did not bring up any subject that upset me, I just felt I needed to share that you are right, there are somethings we will never understand. I have reached Acceptance on the loss of my son and each day remember his smile and some of the wonderful memories I have.
One Day At A Time we all move forward gaining a little more serenity, acceptance and wisdom
Thank You for all the support you give on this board.
