The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am so full of hatred this day. I hate my life, I hate my job, I hate the daily grind, I hate the fact that I haven't got the courage to leave my AGF but I hate the time that I'm with her more and more, I hate it when people say I should leave and feel sorry for me because I stay, I hate the fact that I'm exhausted after yet another sleepless night. Most of all, I hate the alcohol that grips my AGF and makes her into a lying deceitful unreliable unlikeable person when she's drunk and a miserable moaning individual when she's sober.
I love the fact that I've been strong enough to share these feelings with you all.
I hope these feelings only last this day. Just for this day I'll continue to hope.
I am sorry you are struggling, we all get to points were we wonder...Whats NEXT... And when living with an "A" it is Never easy...
As you know the choices are yours to make, and when you reach your fill you will find the right path to take... It may help you to go to a F2F meeting, and try to get some form of support to help you thru this troubled time..
Remember to Keep coming back, because it works if you work it!!! And you will!!! Just keep your faith, you have already found the support, now you just have to get with your HP and see what next with you! You may be surprized at the strengths that you find inside yourself...
(((((brizzle))))) I can tell you that I have just went through a very long period of feeling like you do now, and ya know what?? It's ok. Feeling it, expressing it and moving through it is all ok........and it is great that you are here doing it and getting it out. Things will improve, this program does truly work if you work it-I am living proof:) Remember that there is NOTHING you and your HP can NOT handle together, and even though it is hard to realize.......as I have been struggling so much lately......I remind myself that I am going through exactly what I need to go through and I am right where I need to be-It is truly amazing to not fight it all anymore... Please keep coming back Shelly
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Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!
Well al anon isn't always fun. I do know that I have to cultivate joy in my life. I saw a woman recently who had incredible disabilities really laugh hard and long and know I rarely do that.
Keep coming here, you will gain strength. One of them is to put down the stick and stop beating yourself up.
Stick around here and read the suggestions that oldtimers and the winners pass on to the newcomers and those who's paths have a bit of upward tilt. The suggestions when worked well have miracles as consequences. So for me the suggestion is listen, learn and practice (somemore) Other members with have their experiences and those from Al-Anon will have Al-Anon suggestions. Consider them all, try them out and continue to practice what works. Your AGF may continue to drink and your life will become a miracle inspite of it.
