The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have prayed to my HP to let me see with open eyes what it is He wants me to see, and again He does not falter. I usually try not to let my EXABF into my thoughts to often, but after hearing the other day that he was seen out with a young girl, I won't lie, it stung and I finally allowed myself some time, almost a week afterward, to think about our past relationship.
Out of the year we were together, in all honesty we had maybe 6 "awesome" months together (alot of the harder months were do to some of my issues and insanity, but he was NOT without his issues either). When it was good it was mind blowing, when it was bad it was devastating. So I can't really look back now and mourn the loss of this fabulous relationship-because it wasn't always that. I believe we could have made it great all the time, but for some reason I feel that when I was starting to want to get into Al Anon and knocking at that door so to speak-that was when it got the worst, and he ultimately ended things, when I needed him the most. To me, knowing my history like he did, that is the time he should have been there for me and for us, but he left and refused to try and meet in the middle, even after knowing I was in recovery.
I think the thing I liked the most about him was his character. I genuinely thought that he had character above all else which was why I think I grew to trust in him and open up. But hearing that he was already out with some young girl, within 10 days either way of telling me that he "still wanted happily ever after and wanted it with me" or "when I feel capable of giving us a fair chance I will find you....no matter what" made me really step back and question his character that I thought he had.
Now we are broken up so I am sure we will date other people, but like I said WITHIN 10 DAYS of those emails he is out with someone else, isn't there some sort of respect that should be shown when a relationship ends between caring adults???? Maybe I am just to loyal but I would not go out in public with someone else, after sending those emails, knowing that he would find out-that is just plain hurtful and I wouldn't do that to someone I say I love.........that's not love, that's not an example of character....
I'm just having a small bit of gray today and it will pass I am sure. Just needed to come here for some ESH from my MIP family.
Thanks for listening shelly
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Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!
A few years ago, I had a relationship just "dissolve" into nothing. We never even broke up. I remember being really very upset about it and becoming demanding of an explanation of what happened. Six months of a good thing & then dissolve.
I had talked to my mother about it. She very calmly had said, "he doesn't owe you an explanation" which at the time, I did not take well. But it was the truth. As adults, things happen, we change, they change. Maybe even they aren't the "fabulous" people we see them as.
It is our job to accept reality or be very confused & unhappy.
I'm sorry you are having a grey day. I do think it is important to mourn our losses, to put them at rest & in the past properly.
The fact that he didn'st see your recovery for what it was, may be a very wonderful Blessing eventually. It is very cuastic & exhausting to have to defend or explain your program to other people. I don't do it anymore. It is what it is, I need it and I don't have to JADE it. (justify, argue, defend or explain)
If someone can't accept what I am doing or am into, that is fine. I no longer need other's approval. It is good for me and that is all that matters.
Now you are single and perhaps you will meet/attract a person that is not only able to cope with your recovery but supports it.
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
