The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I knew this was coming. My mood had been bad and I'd been irritable. Went a couple of weeks ago and had two glasses of wine. Convinced myself that it proved I was in control. So last night I tried again and this time failed miserably. This morning I am experiencing all of the results- shakes, headache, self loathing. I know this is not the AA board, but I just wanted to let everyone know where I am today.
You will get through this, hon. Look to step 1. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I have faith in your program. My program has taught me that. You know what you need to do now. Your HP has just set you down in class again, so get to some meetings, right?
You are still with us. You are not alone, unless you want to be.
Love in recovery,
__________________
~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
((((HUGS)))) Well Codependent... Only one that can make it better is YOU! Your Choice your life, Go to a F2F, work it thru, maybe next time you will know better... I currantly, just this morning had another back slide with my Abrother, I am to spend the day with him if he has the guts to follow thru... and am currantly asking my HP for some much help in keeping my thoughts to myself.. .I am suje I will post later if I was "Strong Enough" to know what is right... What is right for ME, Not for him,... It is his choice, and I have NO CONTROL OVER HIM... BUT I DO HAVE CONTROL OVER ME!... I too have my moments with alcohol, I have slowly learned what my limits are, and welp, looking at the back slide "Every other A " in my family has made, I am bet'n that I "Got this"... Your Shakes will pass, your head will stop hurting, the self loathing may pass as well... It is what you do from there, that will determine your strength... YOU hold that... No One Else...
We all relapse at some time or another, alcoholic or codependant! One of the biggest challenges is being aware of what we have done and not letting the veil of denial close our eyes, head and heart to our mistake. You seem very much aware of your relapse. When I relapse in my past ways, I'm grateful my HP gives me awareness. It was a bit harder to accept that my flawed ways could come back at any time. I had hoped I was cured. Now I am humbled.
The question is, how are you going to take action?
Life goes on no matter what we did the day before. This is a new and different day. What's done is done. Leave it in yesterday where it belongs. You can choose to live this day differently. We can always start over.
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
When I finally made it to AA myself after 9 years in Al-Anon, I hid in the corner, in the dark and held my breath hoping to keep my mouth shut when it came time to introduce myself. They stopped the meeting until I identified who I was (not what) damn!! They didn't continue until I identified which was kinda wierd as we all knew each other...LOL. I'm not saying you are or you are not, but if you are concerned you can go and find out. When I found out I didn't turn green and erupt in warts or acne or a rash. Today I know and I know that I know and I'm okay taking care of me.
Keep coming back. Do the next right thing. (((((hugs)))))
Many of us do "research" for years. If you are experiencing those symptoms it is a sign of a real problem. I hope you will choose recovery. I know for me there is a correlation with my drinking and chossing people who drink. So I stopped drinking and work a program. No one said this is going to be easy.
