The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I know the "holidays' trigger me so I am trying to keep busy. Nevertheless this morning I had a brain wave. Why not just give myself a lot of love, understanding, care and space. That would be my valentine's day gift for me. I am in the process of cleaning up, organizing and sorting myself out. Of course none of that comes overnight yet I know in many ways its a valentines to me. I am also really working on looking better and thus feeling better.
I spent years really sad that the A never "gave" to me on Valentine's day. He managed a card at best. I realize that was huge for him. I also know that I have continously set myself up for decades well beyond him waiting for someone to "love" me. Now I have to love me and make it special. Special is taking care of my everyday needs and working upwards. Soon I'll get to the support group/dating/lover part but I'm not that there yet. Yet its a gift to take care of me because I didn't do that for most of my life. Maresie.
That's a wonderful idea maresie and a wonderful gift to yourself..
I've never been too fond of roses or carnations (the smell reminds me of a funeral home). So once in a while I buy myself some spring flowers. I love the colors and the thought of spring. They smell better too..lol
There's a million ways to love ourselves. #1 is deciding to do it. Good for you!
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
I need some of what you ladies have:) I have been in the worst fit of depression all week because of approaching V-day and it also being me and EXABF anniversary-the day we actually decided to make a go of it..... I just can't find my happy ground in it right now......more like quicksand. shelly
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Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!
i try not to celebrate any anniversaries of the past. I have to let it go. Its over,gone for ever. There is no more remorse or grief left in me for that.
I began buying myself flowers anytime I felt like it years ago. I always do. I just love flowers. Every single kind. I also love plants. I am making valentines cookies with some girlfriends tonight. It will be fun. Valentines Day is just a day. Its nothing more or less. I volunteer at a teen drop in center and last night we made valentines out of different kinds of paper and glue and markers and glitter and stuff and it was SO FUN! some made them for people they hated, ones they missed, ones that had died or been killed, etc. very few were just plain old valentines. Its so easy to do this with any people anywhere- in a nursing home, etc. Just ask to go in and do a project and you will find lots of interested people- its a blast and you talk and laugh and tell stories. Hugs, J.
I think being your own Valentine is a fantastic idea! If u don't love you, who will? That is very empowering, as codies we tend to look for so much outside of us that needs to come from within. What a great, inspiring post! Do something wonderful for you & your Valentine (wink) YOU deserve it!
Way to take care of YOU!
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
As an update I found Valentines pretty hard going. I know I would have indulged this in the past.
I didn't indulge the wallowing in stuff this time but I am sad. I'm sad that I don't have a special someone. I'm also sad that I have never learned to take care of myself until now.
