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I'm between a rock and hard place. My husband admits his sister is an alcoholic but continues to let her seep into our lives. She has been abusing drugs, drinks or anything for that matter for over 20 years. I'm done but he makes excuses like "we don't know for sure she is drinking, she didn't sound drunk....yada yada yada" Our last episode with her she went to our place of business when she knew my husband and i were out of town and in a drunken rage terriorized our 16 year old daughter. But here came the worthless appolgies again. But me and my daughter are done. I think he loans her money and i know he calls her. Now when my daughter refuses to speak or talk to her, my husbands says I've "turned" her against his sister. Our son has the heart as big as texas and feels sorry for his dad and aunt. "so now its them against us" Ive lost respect for my husband and I know that he refuses to visit al-anon or hear about enabling. I'm the devil and he constantly says "I know you want her to die" and it this point. yes i do !then my family will never deal with this crap again. And i know when she does die....well he will blame me. I've let him talk me out of a restraining order against her to protect our children which I may go file anyway. Do i put up with this enabling and bear it or speed up the failure of my marriage and make him choose between his family and his drunk sister? So what would you do?
I have an Abrother... I too was one of his biggest enablers behind my mother of course... Now he is 29 years old, couple kids that "do with out", he lives with an Agf as well miserably non the less, but thru the help of Al-anon, I have learned to "NOT involve myself in his affairs"..I know it is differant when it is your husband you have to detach from, but you not really detaching you are just removing yourself from the "aunts" problems... but he is going to have to live with his choices as well... We all do...I would protect my children 1st, and then take care of us...If Husband, sees that you have "Left Go" maybe he will see thru you the freedom you will find...This program works for so many, but You do have to "Work IT!" it can't do it for you!
Good luck to you...Hope your day takes a turn for the better...
I am around people who all enable each other. There is no challenging them. I have to set my own boundaries and I do so rigorously. You have the right to protect your daughter and yourself.
I know full well what is to rationalize and plead. I do not go there anymore. The boundary comes down and I stand behind it.
I don't explain my boundaries away anymore I just institute them.
Thanks so much for the encouragement. I will stand strong. My kids deserve it from both of us but I know I can protect them soley need be.that really puts things in perpective. Thanks for the knudge!
I'm between a rock and hard place. My husband admits his sister is an alcoholic but continues to let her seep into our lives. She has been abusing drugs, drinks or anything for that matter for over 20 years. I'm done but he makes excuses like "we don't know for sure she is drinking, she didn't sound drunk....yada yada yada" Our last episode with her she went to our place of business when she knew my husband and i were out of town and in a drunken rage terriorized our 16 year old daughter. But here came the worthless appolgies again. But me and my daughter are done. I think he loans her money and i know he calls her. Now when my daughter refuses to speak or talk to her, my husbands says I've "turned" her against his sister. Our son has the heart as big as texas and feels sorry for his dad and aunt. "so now its them against us" Ive lost respect for my husband and I know that he refuses to visit al-anon or hear about enabling. I'm the devil and he constantly says "I know you want her to die" and it this point. yes i do !then my family will never deal with this crap again. And i know when she does die....well he will blame me.