The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The 'search' feature has so many wonderful posts about fear and I realize this is another common thread of our lives. The fear that is the most difficult for me right now is the fear of what might happen based on my imagination or based on past experiences that could also contain fear of 'what if'. It makes me realize that a whole lot of built up fears from my past can be based all the way back to fear of what could be but it still registers with the memory and physically in my body cells as just fear.
And then I take all that dark built up fear and think negativly about trying to do something different. So it fights courage too. Then I found this clever quote that made me pause and say, ahhh.
Michael Pritchard Fear is that little darkroom where negatives are developed.
I will keep reading in my al anon books about fear as there is a lot of fear I can discard of if I look at it accurately. Then maybe I can face and stand up to what I truely fear rather than any of that imaginative 'what if' fear that has been stockpiled or built up & seems to immobilize me. I realize I have perfected how to keep my distance or blend into a wall when I am fearful......... and sadly, I see my children have learned to do that too. It is all about feeling safe and strong and confident and courageous with a whole lot of faith.
Another ahhh moment that encourages me to keep looking at my fears because I want to live my dreams:
Les Brown Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.
Maybe I can't live my old dream but there are a lot of dreams to dream and who says the new dreams can't be positive ones just because an old dream soured or died. Anyone have some positive dreams replace the old or slogans/quotes they use to fight fears?
Change seems constant so maybe that is why dreaming new dreams is not comfortable. I will keep at this because I want to feel confident again, strong again and have dreams that don't seem so hopeless.
I am so grateful to have folks acknowledge my thoughts by reading and the replies too. It can be too one dimensional conversing inside myself and perhaps not healthy if thinking distorted thoughts. (-: When that happens, I am glad to see it brought to my attention. Hopefully, gaining a little sanity with a lot of help from my mip friends. Thank you all!
ddub
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"Choices are the hinges of destiny." Pythagoras You can't change the past, but you can change the future.
Just what I needed to think about, out loud with others too.
"...Fear is that little dark room where negatives are developed..." now that one resonated with me and hit me on the head.
I am sitting up, and I am taking notice.
So much of what we experience hides in those dark shadows and when the light is turned on we find they are not the shadows we thought they were and they dissolve. It only takes that someone to turn the light on for that to happen and it is not always me turning on my own light. Sometimes it takes a friend, a sister, a brother.
Thank you ddub for turning on my light today when I stepped into your room to turn on the light. We do NOT have to live our fears when we have tools to fashion a life full of dreams to cherish and work towards and live, truly live; especially so when we have family to help us along. (((MIP family)))))), I love you all so much, you mean so much and I care about you all.
Who loves y'dub...me for one.
Suzannah
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Out of the ruin of my past I have found the fortress of myself and I know how to defend it.
Strive for WISDOM; Seek SERENITY; NEVER compromise your INTEGRITY.
Yeah that was very deep and thank you... I love to get on here and read everyones posts, and fear is something "I Feel" I have Never really brought to the table in my life... I have tried most of my life to be "Fearless" yet living within Fear!!! I can't really explain it but your share seems to have stirred up I believe to be yet another journey...If I ask myself "What are my Fears"... The only one that ALWAYS pops in my head is "Losing the ones I Love"... Yet.. That in probably one of the goofiest to have, seeing as how we all have to go sometimes... What my true fear is has yet to be seen... but now i suppose I must pay better attention... Since I know in my heart that I can't control Lose, Now I must know what Fear has control over me?
That will surely take some time to sore out, since I truly don't know the answer! Go Figure!Thanks ddub for your share... Keep coming back... Friends in Recovery Jozie
I know for me as a codepdent I bred fear. I lived, ate and slept it. i had so much fear associated with the ExA. I had more fear about leaving him than staying with him which was part of my denial.
