The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am feeling low tonight, I can't seem to get control of my emotions. I slipped the other day, trying to talk with my AS about his drug use, it got personal as I tried to reason with him and told him that his drug use was hurting me and the rest of the family as much as it was hurting him. The response I got was the same one I have always gotten, nothing, won't look at me, just turned his back to me.
He left just a couple of hours ago and wanted to make a drug deal with me, "give me some of your Xanax prescription and I will quit smoking pot, and look for work". I told him no deal.
I can relate with the post from "no skills for this" I miss my family terribly. I used to have my son with me and his dad, I had my parents (both have passed away) there was vacations, cookouts and ballgames. We laughed and looked forward to being together, now there is such a void. I still have good things and I am grateful, but I miss the way things used to be.
Me too. Sorry you are feeling low and going thru your situation. Isn't it amazing what the disease can do and say. I have decided that I have to change and that means that I am starting over. Scarey and sad but the old just isn't there. I too am so grateful for what I did have and what I have now.
Don't stop dreaming and never give up hope , your dream is in pause mode right now thats all . If son is not working where is he getting his money for his drugs ? Please find an Al-Anon meeting u need support you simply cannot deal with this alone , u will find people who will share thier experiences with you and who totally understand how your feeling . Our rooms are full of people just like yourself who love alcoholics your anonymity is protected at all times it is a safe place to share your concerns u won't get any advice in al anon but others sharrings may help you find some answers for yourself . call 1-888-4alanon it's toll free and international they will give u contacts for your area .
I totally understand, I truly do. I can feel the sadness in your post here today so here's a few more((((from me)))) to you.
My 32 yr old son is the A in my life and it just tears the heart out of you.
I found MIP just recently, and through the ESH and encouragement I have found here I have been to my first 2 Alanon meetings this week.
I'm working on detaching from this terrible disease which has placed a hatred in my heart that I am working hard on removing and replacing with hope.
My love for my son is an immovable object, but has been sorely tested over the last 12 years.
I blew it with him last week, and with that , my new found serenity went out the window.
I wasn't going to go to the meeting yesterday, but if you read my previous post you will see why I'm glad I did.
All the hopes and dreams that I wished for my son have been re-adjusted to just the one... that he will will choose the path back to AA and recovery. Day at a time....
Fist up, Good for you for saying "NO DEAL", you never "deal" with an alcoholic/addict for the mear fact that from my experience YOU NEVER WIN!!! I have tried the wheel'n & Deal'n with my little Abrother (29)... I never come out on top and neither did he... He just sunk lower while he dragged me with him... I am pretty new to the program, I started Jan. 1st 2009... Good day to get started!!! My name was "Missing Out"...Yesterday, I thru that name away and started a new one!!! "Jozie", see because since I came to the AL-Anon family I have learned how to "Let Go & Let God!"... I just lost my Afather this past Thanksgiving, and it has not been a very good couple of months, but I am doing it "One day at a time"...
Boundrys may be a good place for you to start, with boundrys, he learns his limits when it comes to you and your home.. What you allow and what you don't...Detachment is a Great one to read up on...Once I detached myself from HIS Problems... I seen the change in him, because he know longer had me as a "Crutch" to carry him thru...Now he makes his own choices and has to live with the choices he makes, as I have to live with mine... Tough love is not easy, but it has helped me Find myself.... Put your focus on You, and keep coming back...
There is more love here then you could ever hope for... "It works if you work it"...
