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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> ANGER
Post Info TOPIC: ANGER
saltire


Member

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Posts: 12
Date:
ANGER
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Man this woman just flies off the handle at me and anyone else within earshot, I've only just started attending Al-anon and have my second meeting in 2 days - can't wait for it - just to feel the sincerity of those around me who know how I feel and listen to my words. The peace that gives me is so welcome.

But 1st I'll have to try and stay calm and measured whilst the barrage comes forth.

You see I work away for 2 weeks at a time and the only time I feel down at work is when I phone home and get my ears bled.
She was doing so well ! 8 days sober biggrin I was so pleased and proud of her, even though I still had my worries that she'd fall off the wagon at any time. That time has been the past 2 days and my sons at home are getting strife and can't handle it and the way the handle it just makes her worse !!!!!! arghhhhhhhhh !!!!!!

When I'm away it's detaching with love but if I detach at home, that means me going to the pub for a few beers with mates. I know I'll get it in the neck when I return. If I take the dog for longer than usual walks - it's detaching, but I know the storm is brewing every minute I'm gone.

I'm really struggling at Step 2 and 3. I jolly well know I've comitted to step 1; that's what took me to Al Anon biggrin

I've just been listening to Joe Walsh and the Eagles - One day at a time..........I recommend it for anyone else who's kinda down like me at the moment. www.videocodezone.com/videos/e/eagles/one_day_at_a_time_live.html

__________________
best wishes,
Saltire.
www.videocodezone.com/videos/e/eagles/one_day_at_a_time_live.html
Jerry F


~*Service Worker*~

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Saltire!!

Stick around there's much more to ask, read and learn.  Read the post
that are available for you here and see what help you can get from the
board and fron your open meetings.

Keep coming back.  (((((hugs))))) smile

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hotrod


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 17196
Date:
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Hi Saltire,

I hear your anger and have been there myself. 
Step 2 and 3 were difficult for me as well.  I could not trust anyone or anything not even a Power Greater Than Myself. (I might not get what I wanted)

  I, like you looked around the al-anon rooms and felt the peace and heard the calm, serenity  from the voices of the members. I decided that I would do step 2 by believing that al-anon (a power greater than myself) could restore me to sanity.
 
Step 3 followed when I commited to followng the suggestions and using the tools offered on a daily basis.  For me, I would read the courage to change every morning, make a gratitude list, live only  one day at a time, got a sponser and attended a meeting a day. 

Slowly the anger was replaced and trust returned,  I could find and truly believe in a Higher Power  which I choose to call God.
I will always be grateful to Al Anon for the many gifts I have received but most importantly for restoring  my belief and faith in God.

Take what you want and leave the rest
   

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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
abbyal


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 3854
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The only way I know how to stop the abuse is to stop it .  When u call home next time and the barage starts ask her to stop or u will hang up then do it . It really dosent take them long to figure out your serious .
Boundaries are not walls they can be moved but the sad part for me to remember was that I taught my partner how to treat me by allowing the abusive behavior to continue for so long ,no one to blame but myself .
I was told that by my silence my husb was assuming that what he was doing was okay with me ( and I thought I was stopping an argument by not saying anything ). it is insanity to sit and let someone take me to hell and back . boundaries do return some sanity to my life . 

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I came- I came to-I came to be
maresie


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 4578
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I think that to mention alcohol at all around an alcoholic who is trying to be sober might be a bit difficult.  I think that is a dilemma that many people who are around an alcoholic have.

Maresie.

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maresie
saltire


Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 12
Date:
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thank you all for your kind words
Looking forward to my next al anon meeting tomorrow evening :)

__________________
best wishes,
Saltire.
www.videocodezone.com/videos/e/eagles/one_day_at_a_time_live.html
Sincerely


Senior Member

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Posts: 450
Date:
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My A Hubby works away 7 days and is at home for 7 days. That alone is a roller coaster. I am left at home for 7 days alone, we don't have kids and i am competely independent. Alone I am the only one responsible for taking care of me. I long for my A Hubby to come home from work and take care of me. Unfortunately, that doesn't happen. He comes home and I am here, but he has been 'away' from home for 7 days. He has a lot to catch up with. And normally that doesn't pretain to me. My routine normallly goes like this:
day 1 and 2 when he leaves for work, i am normally still angry at him for something he did while he was at home and he doesn't take any responsiblity for it and is a jerk
day 3 and 4 i am pretty active, adjusted to taking care of myself and really don't give a care about what went on
day 5 & 6, the emotions start turning, i get anxiety about him coming home, i want it to be good, i express myself to him about it and it turns into an arguement and he never mentions it again
day 7, he comes home, sometimes sober and the next 2 days i spend angry at him again. the weekend rolls around, we try to get along and work on things, by monday, i am at witts end and ready for him to leave again.

i always thought that things would be different if he was home every night, but NOT, he has been home since November every night and its the same roller coaster, just different twists and turns.

good luck...its hard either way. coming and going from home is an escape for both parites involved. if you figure out how to make it work, please let me know.

hugs in recovery..tonya

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With love in recovery, 

Sincerely
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