The material presented
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level.
Well, Tonight my son had a indoor soccer game, we won.... YEAH!!!! How ever the shock was that my Abrother, and his children came with my mom to watch my son play... I know this doesn't sound like much, but to me it is something... He had his children, and he managed to spend more family time with us all... He was sober, which is also a wonderful thing... I look at him tho and know that he is still struggling, and I use to jump right in and grab the reins and take over and help heal his wonds, but tonight I just took a couple deep breathes and backed away till i had a better grip on my self... Like my Afather, when my brother is in a crawd he is uncomfortable... It is almost like the walls were closing in on him, and you can see the panic in his face...He only stepped out for a smoke once, so that was his time to get a grip... But I seen when his kids would not be in clear view, he would just get this look to him like they were lost... They were usually just on the other side of him... But again, I reframed from getting involved and just let him handle it himself... Again, no easy task for a big sister, and her Baby brother... My baby brother tho will be 30 this year but he is more like dealing with a teenager for the most part... So I guess I am grateful that the HP helped me Keep my mouth shut..lol... Because like I said, it is a tough one for me to do.. I will be brave and say that when I first was told about Al-anon, I kind of thought to myself, well... "What in the world do I need it for"... My Afather had just past so he's gone, my Abrother hasn't had anything to do with me other then to see what he could squeeze out of me, so WHY WOULD I Need Help! Well am I glad that that arrogant moment came and went.. I have noticed that in my life, I never ever could have come up with half the knowledge that I picked up here..And Yes it has helped me get a completely differant bond to my Abrother, which I am COMPLETLY THRILLED about, but it has also helped me have a better marriage... Yep its true... My husband, is somewhat older then I but he is quite a moody fellow, but he loves us to pieces, he just has alot to worry about...He deserves his moodiness with what he has to do to take care of our business that he started himself 21 years ago... but this program has helped me accept him for who he is as well, as who I am...The more I let Go and let God the more my life seems to take a differant turn... To bad I couldn't have found all you wonderful people 20 years ago... But I am "Dang" happy that I have found you now... Thanks to all of you for your continued ESH... And giving me a new lease on life.... Another good day, another happy moment with my Abrother and his children...
Thanks for letting me share.... Wishing you all Happiness.. Missing
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Forgiveness- Isn't about forgettingwhat happened,its about Giving Up,All Hope,of a Better Past!
Hello , don't think about when u should have found us , u did and that is all that matters . I am happy your able to h ave some good times with your brother . Love him an encourage his sobriety and let the rest go . first yr or so of sobriety is tough on everyone especially him , he is learning to live with out alcohol and is scared chitless . go to meetings for yourself and just love and support his efforts . Louise
I use to jump right in and grab the reins and take over and help heal his wonds, but tonight I just took a couple deep breathes and backed away till i had a better grip on my self...
Missing...thank you, thank you for this share, you as I am are gaining strength and wisdom by being here and this is exactly why we keep coming back.
I almost jumped in last week when a problem cropped up with my active A son. But I reminded him instead of what he could do to help himself and he has done it.
My son is 32 and I totally relate to the fact that it's like dealing with a teenager...I read somewhere that this is exactly what happens, emotional growth is curtailed as the disease takes over, my son is still the twenty year old he was when this disease reared it's head. I also have a recovered A cousin who celebrated his 8th AA birthday recently...he is 48 going on 25....! I notice now and again that he like your brother still has to ease himself away from situations that panic him and those who don't know him would never know. He has had long practice at detaching and has gained coping mechanisms that work for him.
Keep up the good work....as you said it helps not only us but those loved ones around us.
Boy howdy, this topic is just what I need today. On New Year's Day I finally "reached my bottom" and asked HP to help me. So, instead of a New Year's resolution, I made a New Year's decision to back off my Ahusband and quit doing so much for him.
He hasn't liked this one bit, and has continued to ask me to do things he KNOWS he can do for himself. Until the past day or two Ive had no problem standing my ground and setting my boundaries over and over and over again.
But yesterday and today, I've been actually wanting to "help" or "save" or "comfort" him again. Aaaaaaargh. I'm feeling sorry for him, cuz if I don't "help" or "do" whatever it is, it just won't happen and that will be horrible, etc. I think it all the way through and the results aren't good. Or at least they aren't what I want. LOL. and then my control urges kick back in so I can force some results I want.
So, thanks. I need to hear the message over and over, even after 12 years in the program and weekly meetings. Haven't been to a face to face meeting since last night. haha. But I keep coming here too. Ya'll are great. tomorrow will be better; I plan to be back on track.
(((Gran))) You keep up the good work, you get back to you and hold you head up... Your AH has his HP to answer too, and if he doesn't like you not doing things for him them maybe he will make "differant" choices once you stand your ground... I understand 110% aboutjumpin in there, and getting in their business... Give him his space to figure out what he is ready for...
You take care of you and keep coming back... It works it ya work it... I am living proof, and I haven't been here long... :+)
So Gran... Get that focus back and come anytime and share your ESH... We all are here for you as well...
Love & Prayers... Missing
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Forgiveness- Isn't about forgettingwhat happened,its about Giving Up,All Hope,of a Better Past!
