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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Hello~My Introduction
Post Info TOPIC: Hello~My Introduction
trapt


Newbie

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Hello~My Introduction
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Hello, this is my first post.  My name pretty much sums up my feelings right now.  I have a 17 year old daughter and a 12 year old son.  My son has emotional problems, possibly a bipolar dx.  My AH has drank as long as I've known him.  He works, comes home, drinks beer, eats, goes to bed. (by himself, he is a horrid snorer) Has done this for years.  Somedays he will not drink but 6 out of 7 he usually will.  He makes the majority of the money.  I work full time but don't make enough to support my children and me.  I know I am rambling, sorry.  To sum it up, I feel like a wild animal that has been trapped in a cage that is way too small for them.  Hope to learn some things here and possibly get the courage to do something. 

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Ickle Lynnie


Veteran Member

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Hi Trapt,

Hugs and welcome. You are in the right place. Keep coming back. I have been coming here for about a month and in that time have found the love and support of others has given me hope and courage. My situation is no different but I am and that makes all the difference in the world.

Growing in recovery,
Lyn

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trapt


Newbie

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Thank you Lyn.

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maresie


~*Service Worker*~

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Wel you are in just the right place. Staying or leaving in an alcoholic relationship is tough going. This room can help you a lot.  One tool to learn is detaching you can find details of that at www.coping.org. One book to get (among many) is Getting them Sober (canadian guy offers a copy of it above for free).
One thing to do is to come here often, as often as you need.  There are many of us here who have been where you are.  Some stay and things get better, some people do get sober, so stay and things get worse but it doesn't destroy them.  Some leave.  There is no easy way out of these things. Whatever road you take is a hard one.  Things are easier if you have a few tools in your box.  The more you use them the more skilled you become.

Welcome.  I am glad you are here.  No one here is going to judge you, label you, cajole or denigrate you. This is a new home for you to come relax let it all go and learn from others who have managed something other than destroying yourself.

Maresie.

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maresie
wildthang86


Senior Member

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Welcome trapt!!! Never worry about rambling on here, trust me, people will read your post and give you loving feedback and share their stories with you. This is where I do my best ranting and getting things out of my head, and when I have done that I feel just little bit better. And all I did was come here and type my heart out, and then I read the responses and realize I am not alone. I too am in the same situation as you. Although my children have mostly left home to go to school (college) except my youngest, he is 15 years old. We cope by detaching, which is a fine art. It takes a lot of work but I have found it be helpful for me. We also have online meetings you can attend, there is link above to enter the chat room. I have gone there in between meetings and just typed in help, and I have received some wonderful help, just by sharing my in the moment stress. I also learned to take care of myself, because my kids, grown as they are, need me. If I don't take care of myself then I can't help myself either. It did not come easy but those are just a couple of tools that I worked, at first. And I did take Canadianguy offer of the book Getting Them Sober. You will find yourself in that book and it was so helpful to me.

I am so glad you came here, it is a first step. Keep coming back.

Yours in recovery,
wildthang86

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Take the time to take care of YOU!!!
RLC


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1483
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Trapt,

Please consider going to face 2 face Al-Anon meetings in your area. It is the very best thing you can do for yourself. Al-Anon is for people who are affected by someones elses drinking. The people in Al-Anon are people just like yourself and are walking or have walked in your shoes. They will give you their Experience, Strength, and Hope.(ESH) You are not alone and you will find that out. You will find the support, acceptance and love that you need to deal with the problems of alcoholism. It will be like finding a new family.

Just like you I like live with an active alcoholic. The disease will make you crazy. It is powerful, and baffling. It is a progressive disease. You have absolutely no control over it. The only thing you do have control over is YOU, and YOU are the only one that can take care of yourself. Coming to MIP was a great first step. Take the next step, check in your phone book and find where the Al-Anon meetings are in you area. I did just that a little over two years ago and it was the best decision ever made. I made Al-Anon and coming to this board a part of my life. For that I will forever be grateful. Now I don't keep doing the same things over and over and expecting different results. Al-Anon gave me the tools I needed to deal with what alcoholism threw my way. It starts with taking care of yourself first. If you don't take care of yourself first, who is going to take care of your daughter and son?

"It Works If You Work It" so give it a try, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

HUGS,
RLC













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trapt


Newbie

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Thank you all so much for the very warm welcome. I look forward to becoming a part of your family. :)

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abbyal


~*Service Worker*~

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hello trapt , I hope u consider going to Al-Anon for yourself and your children ,it will answer alot of the questions I am sure u have . you will find support from people who understand what your going thru . Al-Anon changed my life for the better it is about me and for me . There is nothing u can do about his drinking but alot u can do for yourself and your children, this board and chat room are great but cannot replace the benifts of a actual meeting I hope u will look for one in your area soon . there is also a program for your children called Alateen often thier meetings are held at the same time as an al anon meeting . hopfully your city will have one available . good luck  Louise

-- Edited by abbyal at 02:18, 2009-02-10

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I came- I came to-I came to be
missing out


Senior Member

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(((Trapt)))

Well we all know that feeling for sure... It is what you do about it that will or will not work it for you...Having teenage children that have also been around your A, may help all of you to go to a Face to Face meeting, of Al-anon/Al-teen... It may help your children also work out and figure out their own feelings and help them better understand why they get so angry at times, or have mixed feelings as well as you..
I know that when I grew up in an "A" household, I grew up way faster then most of my friends and it thru me into becoming a "Caretaker" for everyone around me...Thru the help of the wonderful people in my new MIP Family, I have found the strength within myself to Carry on! Something I didn't know that I had... But once I realized how freeing it has been, my life and my sons life and my husbands life have all gotten a little better and I don't struggle as much with the normal everyday...
My Advise... Let Go & Let God...Get all the knowledge you can from Al-anon books, and see what your part is in your life...I can honestly say, that BEFORE Al-anon, I had not read a book from cover to cover in 17 years!!! But once I started to see "MY LIFE" within those books, I couldn't put them down... Now I am reading like a nut...

Good luck to you and your family... You came to the right place, "It works if you work it", and just remember to take it "One day at a time"...

Friends in Recovery...
Missing...

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Forgiveness- Isn't about forgetting what happened, its about Giving Up, All Hope, of a Better Past!
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