The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I havent posted for a while but have been here reading your es&h leaning on you all. I've been ill and ended up in hospital, am ok and recovering at home now. I think I got ill partly due to being worn out with all the stress of my Abf. He really put me through it over December whilst he was in rehab. I had to go through so much to get to the point where he understood he would be best coming out to supported living and not to me. This was so hard for me to do as I love him and would dearly want him with me, but his and my recovery comes first. He came home a week ago and I stood back allowing him to sort out things for himself and go to as many meetings as possible, all was good for 4 days then the drama began, he's had to be moved as something from his active past has come home to roost, he is in danger possibly and its pretty much put a stop to his freedom to attend meetings and move around. For my part I am very worried for his safety but I am not letting myself be hooked in, my phone is off at night. I do talk with him daily and I'm praying for a good outcome. I want to end our relationship but as ever dont want to leave him when he's vunerable. I love him but love myself more if that makes sense. I am trying to do the right thing but its hard and I'm not. Nothing changes if nothing changes. I'm working the steps and trying to live one day at a time. Thank you all for being there for me, I wouldnt be where I am right now without you all. I've learnt so much from you all and am benefiting alot from it. Thanks for letting me share.
((((carol)))) I could definitely learn from your example. It sounds to me like you are doing everything you need to be doing. I can share in the struggle you feel detaching from someone you love. Ending a relationship with someone we have no feelings for is one thing, but to walk away from someone we still love is gut wrenching. I wish I had more of your strength:) Keep coming back and sharing your ESH with us....
keeping it simple shelly
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Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!
I am glad you are taking care of yourself. I have certainly been on the over involved kick for years. I had to detach in order to save my sanity and physical health.
Well sounds as tho you are getting a grip in your life, and that is the main thing, I know that love can do many things to all of us, but if we are not taking care of ourselves then when are we working so hard for...I have had to detach from a few "A's" in my life as well, the best thing you can do is get yourself healthy, and Let Go & Let God...
The choices that your ABF made are his to live with, and tho he is volnerable, So are you! You did not put him in his Past, or his future, he did that to him self, so there for that is for him and his HP to work out...
Keep coming back because it Works if ya work it, and you are heading in a great direction putting yourself at the top of your own list... Good for you...
Friends in Recovery... Love & Prayers... Missing..
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Forgiveness- Isn't about forgettingwhat happened,its about Giving Up,All Hope,of a Better Past!
