The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Wanted to come by and thank my MIP family for all of the ESH that came my way yesterday. I prayed on things, wrote them out, tossed them in my God box, and woke up this am to a beautiful day of sunshine and 55-60 degree temps(coming from a week of below freezing I am loving it) I feel better today and the ESH pointed me in all the right directions, What I don't know can't hurt me is sooooooo accurate....I am certain I will be less intrigued the next time-lol HP is great and there is nothing He and I can't get through:) keeping it simple~ shelly
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Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!
So glad to read you are feeling better. I read your post yesterday and it hit home. My ex-A and I have been apart for 2 years now...after 8 years together. He was and is the love of my life....with a horrible disease.
He is seeing someone else now....but he continues to call and see me occasionally...But it all goes back to the same thing. I can't be with a person who spends 75% of their day on a bar stool.
2 weeks ago I ran into him with his new "enabler" at the grocery store. It was awful. I stressed for a week...crying.. so sad about seeing my love with another woman. He was mortified and so was I. A week later...I asked to see him. He and I talked for hours...and left it as...we love each other....but he wants to live his life like he always has. I guess she accepts this.
Yesterday, I drove past them in town. My heart aches. BUT....it ached when we were together.
Today, after reading your post, I know there will be better times. I need to focus on myself. I realize "nothing has changed, if nothing has changed". He is still sick. And probable treating her just like he treated me. " Telling her he was "on his way". Telling her he was "just stopping for one"
It's no kind of life to life with a person. There's no trust....no hope for normalcy.
Glad that you found the family and hope you will continue coming back reading the post, taking suggestions and sharing your own ESH. Your response to shelly reminded me of an "impossibility" I was guided to and after disbelief came to understand, believe and now practice.
That was when I was guided toward "Loving her and not needing her". At the time it was not reasonably and therefore impossible a concept in my life. Enablers are addicted to other people. I had learned that and had come to embrace the reality of it and then the concept of Loving without the needing. Today I know that not only is it reasonable and true for me, it is also a behavior for me. Loving and letting go at the same time is how my HP behaves with me. I won't try to do any less.
I'm glad you got here. Keep listening consider getting the hotline phone number to the Al-Anon Family Groups and getting to live face to face meetings.
