The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So here it is February again already! And with that, time to revisit Step 2 and contemplate how, if I keep searching, I can continue growing...always new things to learn and discover!
This past year I have spent getting to know my HP once again. Still in process of that, and probably will be so the rest of my life. It is an ongoing relationship, just as any child-father relationship is ongoing. The difference with this one though, is that my HP is a perfect Father. He knows exactly what I need, what is best for me, He does everything through love, and gave me the best instruction manual on life that one could ever ask for. It is only through His help that I could even begin to think about being restored to sanity, as He is the only one who could make it possible for my personality to change (some things just can't be done by one's will alone). As I study His instruction manual, I learn how I can develop Love, Joy, Peace, Long-Suffering, Kindness, Goodness, Faith, Mildness, Self-Control and what each of these really means to my life. And not only to my life, but how it affects others when I display those qualities. (i.e. "A mild answer turns away rage.")
Another part to Step 2 for me was an issue of feeling worthy of being restored to sanity. My own thinking was, I've done some pretty bad things so how can I possibly be forgiven or forgive myself for them? Again, the answer was turning to HP who "is greater than our hearts and knows all things." What does that mean? That even though I may condemn myself, I am assured that HP sees past my mistakes and perceives my real potential. He also knows my motives and intentions. And He knows that I am imperfect, made of dust, hence will err at times. Just like a parent who sees a child do something wrong... the parent does not condemn the child forever after, but tries to help the child learn so they do not repeat their mistake, because the parent loves the child and wants the best life possible for them. So too, my HP wants for me.
This is the HP of my understanding, and just a part of how He is restoring me to sanity. And it feels good!!
Luv, Kis
__________________
Let your light shine in the darkness. "I can't just bring my mind to meetings...I must also bring my heart."
Aloha Kis...You have a pretty good handle on who your HP is to you. I was told also that if I kept surrendering to mine I would come to understand also and I did. The consequences have been beyond my understanding at times and then HP makes the time for me to catch up. I no longer question the understanding.
Holy Cow Kis HP has been redirecting me to Step 2; i flipped though my courage to change today one page said something like Hp's vision isn't limited by my lack of imagination. I am so grateful for that ; cause at least I can trust even on a bad day HP knows what the next will bring. HP won't give me anything that he don't know for sure i can figure out and handle.
I think your share here is another bump back to step 2 for me; ty hp for sending me here; done
