The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
After EXABF showed up at work yesterday, I have been feeling off kilter. I am struggling with yet another question that I can NOT come to terms with. EXABF has told me b4 that he prays daily only for God's will for him(and i may be naive but I genuinely believe this, and that he follows that guidance).
I also pray many times daily for knowledge of HP's will for me and the power to carry that out....what makes no sense to me is WHY HP would send EXABF to my work knowing that I still have feelings for him, and knowing that it would hurt me and set me off in yet another tailspin?????? Why would HP allow that knowing what it would do to me????
What lesson am I supposed to be learning out of that experience that I can not see????????????????? I'm sure it's there but I can't reason clearly over it probally because I am too close to the problem so again today I am asking for some ESH on the subject. Did I tick HP off or what???? thanks for letting me share
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Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!
I do not believe it is God's will for you to be hurt. What I always remind people about God's part in this is that HE gave ALL OF US FREE WILL, that means choices. If you interpret that as your EXABF' choice to turn up at your works yesterday, then you are more likely to see that it is NOT GOD's choice to hurt you. Only your EXABF knows whether it was GOD's choice that he turn up at your work, or whether he chose to go his own way and not God's way.
Remember, it was your EXABF free will and it was his choice to turn up at your work yesterday.
Only GOD knows whether that was HIS WILL and plan for your EXABF.
You on the other hand have free will, that means you can chose to either be hurt by this or let it go and give the pain to GOD to deal with.
The lesson may be that you need to look at your response, your feelings, and your thoughts on what this ALL MEANT to you.
Ignore any or all of this if you do not agree for this is only my humble opinion and my understanding of a LOVING GOD, not a GOD who wants any of us to hurt. It is humankind's action, reaction, choices and exercising of that precious free will that GOD has given to each of us that gets in the way of the world and causes the hurts and pains.
Was he - your EXABF - listening to GOD or was he acting out of his own self will? And you, are you re-acting to your EXABF's choice or could it be something that GOD wants you to experience and feel so that you examine your heart and see where you really stand as regards your hidden feelings about your EXABF? Do you want to let go of him, really; or do you still have feelings about him that need sorting out?
Just little questions that come to mind when reading your post. Hope I offend no-one, I only speak as I find and comprehend.
Sent with love, Suzannah
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Out of the ruin of my past I have found the fortress of myself and I know how to defend it.
Strive for WISDOM; Seek SERENITY; NEVER compromise your INTEGRITY.
Ms. Shelly I also agree with (((SUZ))) and I think I have told you that...
I don't know if you are fighting it or excepting it! I love ya and hope that you can come to a comfort zone for yourself on what YOU Want for YOU!!! I know you don't think that HP is an evil thing... I know that you trust and follow... So give yourself credit for the steps you have made and be proud of that... I think once you start looking into that 'hollow' spot you have, you will find what you are looking for... I have faith in you always...
Soooo Keep Coming back... "It works if ya work it"...
Friend in Recovery... Missing...
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Forgiveness- Isn't about forgettingwhat happened,its about Giving Up,All Hope,of a Better Past!
HP gave us all free will shelly , boy friend will continue til u stop it . Its like canadian guy says they just keep commin back * just in case * it's up to you to put a stop to this don't wait for b/f to get the message . they are like boomerangs they just keep commin back until u say enough . You are allowing him to step over your boundaries. Just one more email doesn't stop anything . Your boundaries are weak and he knows it , make sure u want him gone before u firmly plant yourself behind a boundary . This is tough I know that so Easy does it = but do it . Louise
To me, it looks like an opportunity to do something different. I've noticed that when I keep my HP close, I can handle any situation. THAT relationship keeps me rock-steady and creates serenity. When I lose it, it's because I gave something else more power. It is not because HP has abandoned me.
During my marriage, I made my AH my higher power. There was soooo much confusion in my life, because I believed everything he said. The lesson for me, was to shift the power to where it truly belonged.
Consider step 2. Trust your HP. (((hugs)))
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The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.
Boundaries. I no longer personally hold God accountable for everything. I also don't presume that when someone is acting out of God's will they aren't putting their own in their.
Boundaries are super hard for me. I have to work on them day and night and review them. I go out of my way to avoid certain people, the ex A is one of them.
I certainly no longer think I am in charge but I am also aware that most of the time I'm not that thrilled with what I have to do in front of me either.
Why would HP allow that knowing what it would do to me????
The big question is, Why are you allowing it?
Sounds to me like the feelings are there to be dealt with whether ABF shows up or not. Maybe that's your message. It's up to you to make concrete boundaries by not allowing ABF's actions to throw you in to a tailspin.
Keep coming back, it all takes time, Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
