hello again..posted here the other day about b/f and his drinking for 15 days, unwilling to get detox due to him having to pay!! the Va hospital here where they know him all to well, actually sent social workers to pick him up. I was so happy when they came to the door, an end to the insanity that has been going on here. So now in detox again, always sorry about all that has taken place and all the hurt, name calling and pure insane things that have been done, so yes now he will be okay for a short time and i know it will start again in another week or so, I have told him i cannot and will not ever be in that position again, sad thing is when it gets so insane here i have no financial way of leaving, he knows this, when i moved in he had promised if things didn't work he will help pay for me to move???yeah right not now, he says i won't pay for you to leave me! why do i always believe? anyway i have decided i can not do this any longer it is not fair to me to waste anymore of my life with someone who doesn't care about themselves much less me. I will not have my life evolve around him and his problems and his not wanting to take his meds, his bipolor is bad enough when not on meds, but add the drinking and it is unbarable. I have sort of made my plan on saving as much as i can, and trying to get things in order, i have alot of things to take care of, selling some furniture, giving notice at my job etc etc. i plan to possibley move out of state near my sister, i have to start all over again and i know it will be very difficult as i have been there for him app 8 yrs. But i know there is a better life for me than this, and maybe i can find some happiness. This is not the first time i have ended it and moved, actually have done it a couple times and had him beg me..oh i changed, i love you etc etc etc. you've alll heard them and they make you feel guilty about wanting to save yourself??they only care about you being there for them and not about you or what you are being put through.I guess i know in my heat i can still love him , but have to love me more, my life has changed so much since we met, i dont do the things i enjoy, go where i want, actually give up alot for him. did you ever have to not do something or get home b/c your worried about what he will do if alone? i have. been told by him he is lonely and i drank you weren't hear??i have been his babysitter and here always for him. I have lived here 5 months and have been alone 90% of the time the rest he has been in treatment or detox oe just drinking, so how much of him solber do i get...not much anyway sorry for ranting, but i know what will take place in a day or so, he will again beg me, i know i have to be strong and stand my ground, silly i am thinking right now god if i tell him again of my plan he will start drinking again? to bad i feel that way right. is this a codependent thing or just caring to much about someone other than myself??? ok i guess i have wrote enough now so thanks for listening and for any replys..stories suggestions, just need to know i am doing what i need to for me>>>                                                            Mary