The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Day 2 after my a is caught drinking while watching my 2 babies...He's sorry he screwed up my life, he doesn't know what's wrong with him, if i want him to go he'll leave, he will seek the help and go to meetings, he wants to continue watching the kids, he promises it will be different this time...blah, blah, blah....sorry for the sarcasm, but i always want to believe so bad and hope it all goes away and we can be that happy family i dream of...i don't want the pit in my stomach, i don't want to start new, i can't work and raise 2 kids on my own, i need his help...i really just want it all to go away. Reality: it won't and i need to be proactive. Do i need to do it all today? Should i see how things go? I'm too tired to go through this again....
First step for me, my kids' safety. They will go to daycare full time; no day off with daddy.
Well I certainly was in a place where I felt totally tied into the A by finances and other things. That can change.
You are in the right place coming here.
I don't believe you have to decide it all today but its good to talk about it.
I know I talked, screamed, ranted and went on for a long long time. Then changes came. Now I don't rant and rave so much anymore. Life for me is still very very difficult but I don't live with a constant unremitting sense of opppresson anymore.
Sorting all this out takes a while. You will get a lot of support, care and understanding here.
The solutions are in the alternatives...doing something different that gets different consequences. If the new things you do are to get positive results great.
As for living with an alcoholic the best that worked for me is the Al-Anon family groups, face to face meetings, literature, taking suggestions, listening practicing and finding an experienced sponsor who had what I wanted.
Day care is a start. Unless your alcoholic gets help for himself because he needs help for himself he isn't getting help at all.
