The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
One of my core issues is really not addressing my triggers. I do not do well on holidays or any significant dates My primary defects are that I tend to procrastinate doing something proactive or act in some other kind of self sabataging way about it. I know now there were lots of things I could have done to make Christmas easier. As usual, I did not brain storm, felt bad, did more procrastination and then felt even worse.
I've decided this year things have to change. Christmas is not all of it. There are numerous holidays I feel badly and it isn't all about that I do not have a significant other, its actually that I don't make myself significant at all.
I'd love to hear how other people approach their triggers and deal with these issue effectively.
I am realizing that I am a reactor. There are triggers and I just take off. Holidays are tough so I just make them ordinary days - no great expectations. One of the biggest changes I have made is just no responding. After my fourth step I understand that I cause alot of my own problems. So I just keep my mouth shut and life has gotten alot better. My biggest trigger is my AHsober (you know I am separated). He can do about anything I lose it. I have made up my mind that I need to see him less, talke to him less, and have a plan (I got that from you) when I have to talk to him or see him.
