The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hello, I'm new to this and so need an outlet other than family. I feel very stuck and sad. My husband hit rockbottom after my first child was born 31/2 years ago. He was removed from my home, went to rehab and seemed to be reborn. Everyone was so blown away by his 360. To good to true of course....i have always continued to live on edge even though he seemed to be doing great. He never really "bought into" the AA meetings; he found it too "religious" and a bit whiny, so i knew things were bound to take a turn. I had a baby in August and few months before found beer cans hidden all over the house again. It always seems to happen right before our babies. He pledged to stop; of course now every few weeks i find beer cans hidden again. I keep telling myself it's only beer (not Vodka like the first time when he would be in a drunken sleeping stupor) and he seems to be functioning with work and helping with the kids. I think if it weren't for the help i need with the kids an financial issues, i would divorce him. I'm sad, helpless right now, and feel very alone. If i call anyone, they will tell me to kick him out immediately. I have given him too many chances. I don't know what to do. I learned from the first time around that I cannot make change happen for him...i always want to believe it will get better, but i know it won't. Thank you for letting me vent.
I have been where you are and there is hope for a better life. Al-Anon is for family or friends of anyone who feels affected by someone elses drinking. We recommend you do not make any major changes in your life for the first 6 months while you attend al-anon meetings. No one will ever give you advise to "throw him out".
Check out the "Frequently asked Questions" thread at the top of the Message Board and
Do request the Book Offer under that post
Look in the white pages for an al-anon listing in your area. Meetings are held day and night. Try to get to meetings asap Read the posts here and know that you will receive new tools to help you cope with what is going on in your life.
{Andrea} Welcome to MIP. This is a place you will never be judged, or given advice as to what you should do. That will be your decision and your decision only. What you will get from MIP members is what we call ESH (Experience, Strength, and Hope). We have walked in your shoes. Example: I found 2 beer cans behind the pillow on our couch last night ( It just did'nt feel right when I leaned back on the pillow). LOL
My suggestions to you would be to find out all you can about the disease of alcoholism. Also read as may post as you can on this site by refering to the search bar at the top of this page, typing in a key word that you would like information on. You will find valuable info there. The most important sugestion I will make is to get involved with face 2 face Al-Anon meetings in your area. Nothing can replace f2f meetings. In Al-Anon you will find the tools that will help you in dealing with your A, and caring people like yourself who will listen and offer their support. You will also find out how to start taking care of yourself. Taking care of ourselves first is the most important thing we learn in Al-Anon.
The disease of alcoholism is progressive and usually continues in a downward spiral until the A hits his or her bottom. You have no control over that, you only have control over YOU. By coming here you have taken a big first step toward taking care of yourself. Again, welcome and keep coming back.
Hello, I'm new to this and so need an outlet other than family. I feel very stuck and sad. My husband hit rockbottom after my first child was born 31/2 years ago. He was removed from my home, went to rehab and seemed to be reborn. Everyone was so blown away by his 360. To good to true of course....i have always continued to live on edge even though he seemed to be doing great. He never really "bought into" the AA meetings; he found it too "religious" and a bit whiny, so i knew things were bound to take a turn. I had a baby in August and few months before found beer cans hidden all over the house again. It always seems to happen right before our babies. He pledged to stop; of course now every few weeks i find beer cans hidden again. I keep telling myself it's only beer (not Vodka like the first time when he would be in a drunken sleeping stupor) and he seems to be functioning with work and helping with the kids. I think if it weren't for the help i need with the kids an financial issues, i would divorce him. I'm sad, helpless right now, and feel very alone. If i call anyone, they will tell me to kick him out immediately. I have given him too many chances. I don't know what to do. I learned from the first time around that I cannot make change happen for him...i always want to believe it will get better, but i know it won't. Thank you for letting me vent.
I am going through the very same thing as you. ONly I just finally removed him from the house. You are not alone. See my other posts.
Thank you for your support; it is comforting speaking to people who know what i'm going through. I have tried atending face to face meetings. It is very hard for me with 2 kids and no babysitter. The meetings are also late for me;i work full time and get up early. These aren't excuses, but reality for me. So....i'm hoping i can use this site as a help and a guide.
Welcome. This is a great place to learn and be supported by those who truly understand.
I too am the Mom of a little guy. I am separated from my aH. I spent much time on here before heading back to f2f meetings. It wasn't easy for me to arrange, but I go now to one meeting a week, and I am really glad that I do. There is something very special about being physically surrounded by and making connections with those who get you, understand your situation, and are willing to share their experience, strength and hope with you.
I hope you find a way to get there too, in a way and time that is right for you.
glad you are here. This is a great great place irregardless of your financial situation, irregardless of your options. Many of us come here with few options. Over time we get the strength to explore them. You are absolutely doing everything you can to take care of you and the kids.
Please think about taking Canadian Guys' offer at the top of this page. Getting them Sober is an incredible resource The book is well worth getting.
