Al-Anon Family Group

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> introduction new member
Post Info TOPIC: introduction new member
maryam


Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 10
Date:
introduction new member
Permalink  

I am new here and am going insane with my b/f, he is a severe alcoholic and has been for most of his life. Has been in and out of treatment, more detox then i can remember, sad thing is i moved in here last year when all was ok again, believing as many of us do MAYBE THIS TIME! well it has continued since then and after spending 8 yrs of my life waiting and watching him slowly kill himself and take so much of me that i don't evem know who i am anymore. I have been there for him through prison, through all his treatments, detoxes etc. and i know i can not do it anymore. I am tired of the lies the low life friends he has here and the insanitiy of his behaviors. He has called me filty names, blamed me of course for so may things. I have had it, He now has been drinking for the past 14 days, not eating, wearing the same clothes no showers of course etc. he is a vet and recieves care and medication for drinking, high blood pressure and bipolor..but he never takes it! he beggs me not to go, but i know i do have to go, and am trying to hang in there until i have the money to do so, and it is very difficult, i have nowhere else to go now so i have to live with this and try and work to, which is very hard with all that's going on here. it is a bad situation. he does not work is on ssi. so he gets paid to drink and sit around i guess. he does nothing with his time, he saids he knows he should but it always seems to go back to this, i hate it and i can't take much more, i have heard enough lies to last a lifetime and have seen enough and most certainley have been through way to much. I do not drink and believe i am the only person he knows that is not an alcoholic.I only know i will have some sort of breakdown here soon......it is a insane life. sorry this was so long, thanks for listening. i plan to continue to come to this site when possible as the meetings here are when i work.. thanks agin  Mary



__________________
missing out


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 109
Date:
Permalink  

Welcome Mary ((((HUGS))))
Well you are def. at the right place... We all have our own story's to tell, but once you get use to coming back and reading the story's and picking up some of the Great Al-anon books out there, and you will catch right on to "letting Go"... Not so much of him, but his disease... I know this place has helped me a ton and I have only been here a short while... They are all understanding, and kind, and here when you need them...

You are not alone but no means, we all have to keep coming back in order to help the other one... It isn't all about "Us" and a one, but "US" as a whole... we are our own support, and this is def. the place to find it...

Wish you luck in your journey; Keep us posted on how you are doing, and keep coming back. ONce you learn to "Let Go & Let God" you will find that life is alot easier then you knew... At least it worked for me...

Friends in Recovery
Missing Out...

__________________
Forgiveness- Isn't about forgetting what happened, its about Giving Up, All Hope, of a Better Past!
debilyn


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3131
Date:
Permalink  

Welcome Maryam, Yes the life living with an active A is very, very hard on us.

On the top of our home message board page you see Online meetings. They are right here in the chat room.They are wonderful, ran just like a face to face meeting.

I would say about everyone here has been or still is where you are. There is a lot of support here.

My memory is full of the pain. The no laughter, only complaints,always dark,sitting next to someone who smells up the whole room.

They are so sick. I am so sad for your A and your family. Hope you get what you need here to find serenity.

Of course he does not want to lose you, he is feeling horrible.

keep coming back. love,debilyn

__________________

"If wishes were wings,piggys would fly."
<(*@*)>
Rora


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 419
Date:
Permalink  

Welcomesmile

__________________
maresie


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 4578
Date:
Permalink  

Maryam:  I can relate very much. When I got here I was living with an alcoholic/drug addict and absolutely stuck. I held it all together for a long long time.  That was my longest relationship 8 years in all.  I stuck it out through so much!

The program can offer you many many tools, first somewhere to go where you can be honest about your life (which you have done admirably) second the tool of detaching (really a hard one to learn) third the other tools which are all very very helpful.  You can learn so much about them and how they are applied by reading the archives here.  You can read people's shares through all the stages and how they talk about using the tools.

You can also ask Canadian guy (a post at the top of this page illustrates more) for the book, Getting them Sober, I can't recommend that book highly enough. Toby Rice Drew is a great great resource in looking at behavior non judgementally.

Resentment, obsession, fear used to dominate my life.  Now it doesn't. The reason is purely al anon.  This room has helped me immensely.

I am glad you are here and reaching out for help.

Maresie.

__________________
maresie
nmike


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 2677
Date:
Permalink  

(((((mary)))))

Welcome to MIP! You are in the right place. Keep looking for a place to stay and Alanon meetings. They help alot. You don't have to go on this ride with the A. You need to take care of yourself. When we let go then they have a chance to hit their bottom.

In support,
Nancy

__________________
John


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 834
Date:
Permalink  

((((((((Mary)))))))))))

Just a warm, safe hug sent your way.

Welcome Home.

John

__________________

" And what did we gain?  A new life, with purpose, meaning and constant progress, and all the contentment and fulfillment that comes from such growth."

(Al-Anon's Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions,Step 3. pg 21)

big-bigger-faith-fear-god-Favim.com-288081.jpg

 

 
aunitedway


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 580
Date:
Permalink  

((mary))  welcome to miracles in progress! handshake.gif

so glad you found this website and the message board! giggle.gif please keep coming back!

Alanon has the tools i needed to live with active alcoholism....(and sobriety)  it shows us a different way.  one that is positive and hopeful...it shows us how to gently change what we've been doing.., that isnt working.   there is hope  and room for change wether he is drinking or not.biggrin.gif keep the faith.
there is hope and  you can find peace and serenity again in life and for your family.

keep workin it your so worth it!  

There are meetings here 2x a day in the chat room too! 
see the link to the chat room  at the top left corner of this message board.

heres meeting times;
(mornings)
9 AM EST Mon-Fri

9 PM EST Mon    -Sat

10 AM EST Sat & Sun


Sat. and Sun.
 - 10am eastern time******


(Nite Meetings)
 Mon-Saturday 9PM eastern time
Sunday 7PM eastern time

 date.gif  hope to see yas there!



__________________
Maria123


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 2055
Date:
Permalink  

Just wanted to welcome you Mary.

I hope you keep coming. I've seen a lot of miracles here since I've kept coming myself.

yours in recovery,
Maria

__________________
If I am not for me, who will be?  If I am only for myself, then who am I?  If not now, when?
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.
Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> introduction new member