The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Okay family, I am at that place AGAIN, sigh, when it all comes back to that beautiful word...SERENITY.
I thought that once I had found it, I would never let it go.
Well, I have had to think again. You see, I have had glimpses of it and it has slipped from me...this time, I am not prepared to let it go so I thought I had better REALLY STUDY the meaning of SERENITY and make sure my little gray cells get themselves fully acquainted so that it would not slip away.
SERENITY: meaning - peaceful or tranquil; calm; to be quiet; being in accord; inner harmony;
where does it come from - it's an inside job; comes from my trust that GOD (my Higher Power) is in control and able to support me just as I am; comes from my being able to let go of the past, accept the present, and not worry about the future.
how do I keep hold of it - by practicing on a daily basis to release the things I cannot change to God; and to have to courage to change what needs to be changed in ME; and by practicing on a daily basis a deeper awareness that I am not alone, that there is a higher power able to support me whatever happens as long as I have TRUST to let go and enable my higher power to do just that; by my daily ritual of living this truth with CONVICTION and BELEIF and letting go of indecisiveness and doubt.
Seems to me that I have to work at it rather hard in the beginning, however, if I am prepared to check on it daily it would appear to be much easier to keep practicing until one day I will find that I am not practicing any more but that I am serene.
Okay, I can do that. I can do it - one day at a time. It can become part of my daily routine just like, washing, dressing, brushing one's teeth and eating is.
I am so sick of the frenzy, the doubt, the gut wrenching uncertainty, the ups and the downs, I need SERENITY. I want SERENITY, and I want it for always. So I will start with today.
Now you see a woman with a mission...and that mission is to succeed and gain serenity on a daily basis. How about you, are you up for it?
Suzannah
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Out of the ruin of my past I have found the fortress of myself and I know how to defend it.
Strive for WISDOM; Seek SERENITY; NEVER compromise your INTEGRITY.
I only know a microcosm of what you have on your plate. I know at the moment I really don't feel well at all. I have terrible allergies. Being unwell is something that I'm familiar with (I was very sick as a child). I think when we have a form of chronic illness its hard to accept not having a body that works well.
I struggle tremendously with going to the doctor. I also struggle tremendously with really doing everything I can for myself. I'm working on that right now in overtime.
There are moments when I have serenity when I'm with my pets for example. Other times I have to say it comes fleetingly. I know without a doubt the more I do for myself, the better I am with my boundaries, the closer I come to it.
All my adult life I have prayed for inner peace and serenity. I found it thru Alanon. I think that I just didn't have good boundaries to protect me from others and protect others from me. It feels so good. I have to work at being different. One thing is to close my mouth. And listen.
Suzannah!! Aloha....you're on the up swiing. Record the feelings and the thoughts and the emotions because meditating on them later will bring the moment back into focus and you're right it will come from the inside.
I have found, after a lot of practice, that for me my whole world can feel and look out of kilter and I can still be serene. Because I believe as you do that it is an inside job I also believe that it is not dependent upon any thing other than choice. What I am looking at may seem lousey but how I feel is calm, quiet, balanced and accepting...serene!!
Your post reads like a primer on the education of serenity. I'd hold on to it.
