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Firstly, Hello to all and Happy New Year! I haven't posted on here for a long, long time but often read other posts so please forgive me if it seems that I am only writing on here now I need help!
I am 28 years old and 2 years ago my long term relationship broke down (not through alcohol) and I moved back home to live with my parents who are both alcohol dependent.
My step dad has been alcohol dependent for as far back as I can remember. He has often been agressive, not physically, through drinking. His behaviour is something that as a family we learnt to tolerate over the years.
I am at the end of my pentience with my mother. Since I have moved back home I have noticed that she has also become alcoholic dependent and I have become increasingly worried about her.
She drinks very heavily every day. She drinks anything that she can, spirits, wine, beer - whatever is in the house. She doesn't neccessarily hide what she drinks just the quantity. She has had a very hard 8 years (well that is what she is blaming, everyone else in the fmaily has had the same problems as her over the last 8 years and yet she is the only one who is alcoholic dependent). She has been taking anti depressants for a number of years now.
Last night, the only way I can describe her is mental! She was screaming on top of her voice, and behaving as if she were possessed by a demon!!! She said that she went out in the car to kill herself but didn't have the courage to see it though, she was screaming, being abusive and saying the most vile things to my sister and I. It has been liek this for years! Its just now she is talking about killing herself. she believes that she has nothing at all to live for and that drink is the only thing in her life.
This morning she was behaving s if nothing happened last night and that it is all in our heads!!!
I know the answer would be moving out but with the state of the property market att he moment, and mortgage lenders not lending to fist time buyers unless they can pay huge deposits I am just not in a position to do this and I am finding it really hard to cope with her. She seems to be crying out for help but whenever I offer any she refuses and says that she is fine and that she will just cope with it her way and I must leave her alone and stop telling her what to do.... I don't tell her what to do!
I know there is nothing that anyone can do for me or for her I just need to sound off at people who understand .....
Calamity, I have had the same conversations (usually one sided) with members of my family. The I just don't have anything to live for, I might as well end it and on and on and on.
One day I told my sister that she had mentioned suicide three times since I answered the phone and that if she said it again I WOULD call 911 and let them take care of it. Her response was "Well I didn't really mean it." I added, well then mention it again and you can tell the paramedics how you didn't mean it. She has never said it again.
I had to prove to my family members that I DO take all threats of suicide very seriously and that I will sign papers to have them put in the psyche ward for 96 hours. I don't care what they have injested, whether it be pain pills, alcohol or street drugs. The bottom line is I WILL call it in and they can deal with the professionals. They all stopped saying anything like that.
Do you go to f2f meetings? If not, then run don't walk to one and stay there long enough for it to help you. You can't change your parents but you can save yourself. There are other options as far as getting away from it all. If you want out bad enough you will find a way.
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Everything I have ever let go of has claw marks all over it.
maybe when i get home I will suggest to Mum that if she mentions suicide again then I will call 999 and let them/ her deal with it as I can't have responsibility for not doing it on the chance that she actually means it!
There are no f2f meetings in my area but I am looking at how I can change my committments to travel to one that's not too far away!
Well you are in the right place. There are two meetings here a day but I'm not sure they will work with your time zone. I presume you are from the UK. There are however other on line al anon meetings and you can probably find something that will work in your time zone.
There are options here. There are lots of tools that many of us use in dealing with an alcoholic. Many of us have found ourselves exasperated. We can change that. The tools help, they really do. The tools also help us in many other areas of our life.
I hope you will choose to get more involved with al anon.
(((CalamityJane))) Welcome to our family... I know that what you are facing are hard times, My father was the one in my family that thru the "no one loves me, everyone hates me, Why am I here"... Crap... I know it is a tough time for you and living there under her roof is not going to be easy on you...
A hope that you can find means to get to the meeting, because I believe that you will benifit from it, if you give it a chance...Just keep coming back, and keep sharing... It will help and we are all here for each other...
Your friend in recovery.. Hugs and prayers Missing out.
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Forgiveness- Isn't about forgettingwhat happened,its about Giving Up,All Hope,of a Better Past!
I hope its well there -- as I have also been at the end of my patience, to remember its time to give it to my hp / or reinvent my definitions of patience helps me.
For what its worth namaste~ oceans of light n love 2 you and your's getoverit
